Purse matter

I lost my identity yesterday. Along with that, I lost the right to drive (both in India and in the US). I also lost the right to spend money without having any (I believe that’s possible through the use of something called “Credit Cards”). If I ever happen to be jobless in the United States, I have also lost the right to social security.

All of it happened here. The blue placeholders show the possible locations where this mishap could have happened.

The City of Purse Purloiners

I lost my wallet. It could have been pickpocketed. It could have just dropped out of my back pocket. It could have been zapped out of existence by a recital of Vogon Poetry. My credit cards could have been used to purchase blood diamonds. Or worse still. Barbie dolls. Perhaps even Himesh Reshammiyya’s greatest hits CD. The horrific possibilities are endless. I would now need to pay a little more than the usual bribe to the cop who catches me using my cellphone while I am overtaking a water tanker from the wrong side of the road, at 80 kmph. All because my driving license is now possibly being used to create fake IDs for suicide bombers.

Perhaps I should not have written my ATM pin number on the backside of my debit card.

These are interesting times. To cancel my credit card, ABN Amro wanted me to reconfirm my waist size and the length (in millimetres) of my left hand’s index finger. Security, they say.

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  1. Started with your post on learning the violin and have gone through all of your posts in reverse chronological order, landing here at last. Thanks to you, my vocabulary and creative thinking have seen a jump. Great going, KA! Awesome posts πŸ™‚

  2. I must be the latest one doing the reverse-chronological pilgrimage through your blog…and what a fun 3 weeks it was ! Every post and almost every comment has been read. It was interesting to see how the posts evolved through the years.

    You replaced Ramesh Srivats as my online humor/intellectual crush πŸ˜€ I used to enjoy the Tambrahm Rage comics, but unfortunately didn’t discover ‘Doing Jalsa and Showing Jilpa’ until recently.

    Btw the new rendezvous location in your “Ab Purse” post is my area !! I live about 500m from there (okay “lived”, until i got married 4 months ago that is). Being a Bangalorean, you’ve given me enough tambrahm + madras-slang material to match my husband πŸ˜€ (who is also ex-Vidya Mandir, Mylapore incidentally)

    Well, so long, and thanks for all the entertainment πŸ™‚

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