It was the best of times. It was the Vaastu of times.

Yes I know. Not punny. But this is the title I had in mind originally. “Goodu. Badu. Vaastu”. So be thankful. My mind has been distracted all day since I found this book at the Odyssey book store

Web Vastu – Designing Websites as per ancient science of directions

So I came back home from the book store, deeply disturbed. Is my blog Vastu compliant? Are my fonts aligned with the elements (and I dont mean HTML elements) ? Are my style sheets cascading in harmony with fire and earth? Am I composing my posts while consciously aware of the Brahmasthana?

These questions plagued me, and I read the entire website, and berated myself on not buying the book earlier in the day, and felt a deep sense of shame at having ingored the mystical science of Vastu in my everyday life all this while. And this only got worse when it struck me like lightning hitting a bad-vastu house that things were worse than I imagined.

  • Those ignorant designers of video games were ignoring vastu in the design of their virtual worlds. I am going to have to stop playing Simcity and Sims till they become Vastu compliant
  • The placement of buttons on my mobile phone turns out to be wrong as well. The brahmasthana should be empty. Thus, the “5” button needs to be moved to the South West. I am going to have to email Motorola and ask them to consider this change if they are to have any hope of surviving as a company
  • The positioning of spectacles on my nose is in complete misalignment with Saturn. That’s going to have to change. Lawrence and Mayo will need to invent nose avoiding anti-gravity based floating lenses to help me align with the heavenly elements

I am a shattered man. Saturn, Mercury, Fire, Earth, Water and Neptune are up in arms against my poor HTML elements. Every user interface I use is blissfully ignorant of Vastu. I stood up, my eyes glazed with disillusionment. I walked towards the window. A spider. A small, miniscule spider, spinning what spiders usually spin. The only thought left in my vastu misaligned mind was a small hope that at least the spider save his web by adhering to the laws of vastu

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  1. ” But once that creative self was unleashed, there was no stopping, and it was there that she got acquainted with, what later became her life-blood – Vaastu Shastra. With Vaastu as comes from the Vedas – as her topic, she completed her M.Phil in 2002 from Mumbai’s Zoroastrian College, followed by her Ph.D. in the previously unheard-of – Web Vastu.”

    wtf phd in web vastu. Where is the evidence that all of this works?

  2. Hmm…this ‘Zoroastrian College’ seems to be rather liberal in it’s handing out of PhDs.

    It’s convocation invite says, and I quote: ‘
    ZOROASTRIAN COLLEGE OFFERS UNIQUE FACILITY TO ENCOURAGE ORIGINAL REASEARCH (sic) OF UNIVERSAL BENEFIT TO HUMANITY WORLD WIDE. ALL PERSONS INTERESTED TO GAIN DOCTORATE DEGREES PLEASE CONTACT Z. C. OFFICE FOR INFORMATION. (The capitals are theirs, not mine)

    Some other choice doctorates there include:
    1. Dr. Rupa Shah’s Indian Flower Remedies
    2. Dr. Punamchand Rathi’s MAGNET Therapy
    3. Medical Astrology – Prof. Dr. Harishbhai Dhutia

    I wish I was kidding. It’s all here: http://www.indiayellowpages.com/zoroastrian/mhc1.htm

  3. Pardon me but that quote sounds like it comes from Borat, which was a ridiculous movie. I wonder if the capitals are part of the vaastu business.

  4. @Raghav: A certain powerful party actively pushed for Astrology to be included in all Indian Universities. Many modern Indians dismiss science as Western propoganda, embrace astrology/numerology/vaasthu/Bermuda triangle/falsity of moon landing, and frantically try to get into software, which is based on fusion of Advanced Physics and Technology ( frist vaccuum tube effects, then band-gap theory ) Their left brain doesnt know what their right brain is thinking.

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