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Alien from distant (obviously) planet arrives. Speaks in a musical Tirunelveli accent for some strange reasons involving an unholy union of theoretical physics and coconut chutney. Proceeds to blow up all of Jerusalem and says “There you go. Problem solved”. Then aims nucleoplasma guns on the rest of earth and asks a question:

“Summarize the history of your species (Homo Sapiens) in exactly 10 words. “

The best answer wins a pirated DVD of “Aap ka Surroor” along with a full colour printout of the Moviee unofficial comic with bonus pages containing hidden subplots yet unrevealed.

Extra Bonus prize for ultracool responses: Large size poster of Vijaykanth with fake Himesh autograph.


21 responses to “Microhistory”

  1. Karthik Krish Avatar
    Karthik Krish

    I suck at these things but here goes:

    “A mammal debating its own existence while undergoing natural selection.”

  2. Raghav Avatar

    To the Alien: ‘We argued endlessly about how we’d answer that very question.’

  3. […] Please to take part in this competition to save our planet from the Tirunelveli-Tamil-speaking Alien. It is your moral obligation to lend […]

  4. Priya Avatar

    my 10 dollars ( a dollar a word – whoever said silence is golden never tried speaking!) –

    “We come, we see, we try to live, we die!”

    And later when Earth is blown to bits, the epitaph would read –

    “They came, they saw, they tried to live, they died.”

  5. krishashok Avatar

    Not bad. But I am looking for creative summaries of the entirety of human history. I will give you a corny example:
    “Monkey stoned jews in rome with crosses, crescents and technology”
    Each word in the sentence alludes to critical periods of human history – evolution from monkeys, the stone age, judaism, rome, chrisitanity, islam and 20th century technology”

  6. Bikerdude Avatar

    Here you go:

    “See, in the big picture everything is irrelevant I say.”

  7. Bikerdude Avatar

    The above is the favourite quote of my belowed paternal, usually said while reading the paper, sipping filter kaapi in a banyan and veshti :p

  8. Raghav Avatar

    Of course, you could always smirk at the Alien and say ’42’, then watch him bow down to your infinite wisdom.

  9. Marc Avatar

    However 42 is not ten words so the alien gets you with a technicality.

    My turn, my turn!

    “God made Earth, Christ remade Man and Man destroys all.”

  10. rambodoc Avatar

    When the State withered away….”And at the end there was Google.”

  11. krishashok Avatar

    great going. Some serious contenders for Da Prize. 2 more days. Get your blogroll to participate.

  12. Ramsu Avatar

    “We have evolved over thousands of years into Himesh Reshammiya.”

  13. Priya Avatar

    can I try again? 🙂

    “We perfected time travel – from monkey to man and back.”

    trust me, brevity is not as easy as it seems.

  14. Ramsu Avatar

    Having effectively sealed the fate of our planet with my entry, my last wish is to receive that poster. I would like to stare into the fiery eyes of Puratchi Captain Karuppu MGR while attaining Paraloka Prapti.

  15. Raghav Avatar

    According to Bistromathics, 42 IS 10, but let’s not go there.

    To the Alien: ‘We’re lost. We took the wrong left enroute to Eden.’

  16. munimma Avatar

    I believe in brevity. 1 word – Oops!

  17. mahendrap Avatar

    I presume the contest is closed, so here’s the 10-word postscript:
    Back-stabbing politician sneaks upto Alien: “Drop gun else hear Himesh”.

  18. Arun Avatar

    Why not your own blog title?

    “Doing Jalsa and showing Jilpa, doing Jalsa and showing Jilpa. ”

    There, 10 words.

  19. Vasooo Avatar

    If not what for?

  20. Vasooo Avatar

    Jalsa panni jilpa pottu jigina vutta jujubis

  21. Marc Avatar

    Oh no, not Bistromathics!

    I like this one best! “We perfected time travel – from monkey to man and back.”

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