Junior’s near death adventure

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There are 2 kinds of people in the world today. Those who have watched The Video and those will watch it in the next few days.

It’s a hot dry day at Kruger National park, and a herd of water buffaloes is on its way. A pride of lions waits in ambush. I have translated Lionese into Tamil and English for my readers’ benefit

Dramatis Personae

Lions Singaravelan, Singaperandi and 3 adiyaal (assistants)

Crocodile Veerappandi Mudalai-yaar

Young Water Buffalo Junior Yamavandi

Da Herd of Bad Ass Water Buffaloes

Singaaravelan: Dei. Anga Paaru da. Kutty erumai. (Ahoy. Look over ‘dere broder.  One juicy small buffalo, with just 2 escorts.)

Singaperaandi: Aaaha. Yogam Vandhidicchu. (Oh yeah. Lady luck is smiling on us today). 

(The chase begins. 5 lions. 3 buffaloes. The lions brilliantly split the buffaloes so that the one chasing the little one has no large horned escorts nearby. In an acrobatic leap, the lion catches the little one and both go crashing into the river nearby. The 5 lions descend on the little one, Junior Yamavandi. They go straight for his jugular. The buffalo struggles for life and just when things couldn’t get worse..

Veerappaandi Mudalai-yaar: (snif sniff) Erumai Rattham! Innaa Nadukudhu anga. ( I smell Buffalo blood. What’s happenin’ over there.)

(Croc attempts to drag Junior into the river, while 5 lions attempt to drag him ashore)

Singaravelan: Adachi pichakaara naye. Naama pudichomla? Freeyaa vuttu poi neeyaa vettaiyaadu. Idhu enguldhu. (You lazy ass croc. We caught this one. Its not yours. Go get one on your own)

(Junior uses nature-given mobile phone in his head and telepathically SMSes ‘pls hlp lns ct me nr rvr’ to Da Herd)

Singaravelan: Adachi setthu po. Vaailaa valikidhu (Getting tired of biting you. Die, you buffal0. Let us have our meal)

(Deep rumbling noises start to grow in volume)

Singaperaandi: Annaaachi. Konjam annaaanda look vudunga (Brother! You might wanna look over there. I think we are in deep doodoo)

Singaravelan: Stop wasting time and focus on killing this thing. That herd will go away if they sense that this guy is dead.

(Da Herd gathers around the pride. Menacingly. Nobody wants to take the initiative though. Afterall, cats are fast. They could gouge a buffalo’s eyes out before his horn rips into them. But Junior is hurting. This is no time for cowardice. One huge member of Da Herd charges the pride….

Da Herd member #1: Yo. You wanna piece of me. Imonna kick your….

(and lifts a lion with his horns and chases her away. This gives the herd confidence. Soon enough, most of the lions are gored or chased away. Junior is guided back into the center of  the herd. He is shaken, but alive)

Junior:  Tanks Maams. (Thank you very much!)

The End.


16 responses to “Junior’s near death adventure”

  1. clarissa Avatar

    Where does one learn Lionese?

  2. rambodoc Avatar

    Just goes to show that if you have the right equipment (i.e., are horny), you can become a wilde beest and have a good time lion down or kickin’ some ass!

    1. Mohna Priyanka Avatar
      Mohna Priyanka

      Wow. Brilliant!

  3. krishashok Avatar

    🙂 Yes. The cats were overcome by a whole load of bull

    I personally use a babelfish. So I can only translate but not teach.

  4. sree Avatar

    Junior uses nature-given mobile phone in his head and telepathically SMSes ‘pls hlp lns ct me nr rvr’ to Da Herd //
    :)) idhu ellam room pottu yosipeengala ?

  5. Voracious Blog Reader Avatar
    Voracious Blog Reader

    I initially started watching the video. When the Lions caught hold of the baby, I couldn’t take it anymore. I paused the video and read the text. Only after reading that the baby was rescued, did I watch the full video. 🙂

    I think this video can be forwarded to people who piddle around saying:

    ” Naanga yaaru….singa parambara-lla…”

    Voracious Blog Reader

  6. krishashok Avatar

    Namma brainey oru periya kaali room marithaaney. Indha maari mega paetthal thoughts thaan eppomeu odikitrukkum ( My mind itself is a like a large empty athletics stadium where such pointless thoughts keep running)

    Voracious Blog Reader,
    Very right. I have changed my motto to “naanga yaaru…Neer Erumai parambara-lla”

  7. Thoppai Mama Avatar
    Thoppai Mama

    Enna vooy! Intha paddathilae Goundamani Senthil jodi-yum vanthaanga pola theriyuthu.

    Karuppu erumai: Poda sottai thalaiya, enga erumai kutti-ya venNdiyirukku unakku-nnu solli kombaal alaakka thooki veesi erinjittaar.

    Singa-ra Senthil: EnnangaNNae! Ipdi thookki erinjitteenga, en gouravam enna aavuthu?

  8. krishashok Avatar

    Thoppai Mama,
    🙂 I believe one of the lions chased away was also heard to have said – “Eppidi irundha naan, eppidi ayitten” (What I was like? What I am now)

  9. Marc Avatar

    ZOMG FAKE!!!

  10. Just Me Avatar

    Ah! So that’s what the video is about!

    ROTFL! 🙂

  11. Diviya Avatar

    Awesome, have never seen anything like that before. Great commentary as well.

  12. Bikerdude Avatar

    U sure the head buffalo didnt say “Ippudu soodu”, pull off his horns, twirl them around and replace them on his head before charging?

    And you also missed out the passing Gazelle who said “Baawaa.. neenga evlo dhairiyasa… (groan..aali. Raathri en veetke vaanga bawaaa.”

  13. krishashok Avatar

    Actually, he originally tried the Vijaykanth stunt of simply twirling his horns in the air and hoping the lion will be flung away automatically. But the lion stayed put, so he decided to physically charge.

  14. Arunk Avatar

    I think the lions simply did not take advice from superrrrssstaarrr- singam single’a varaama, koottama vanda? Panni-adidaan kedaikkum.

    But seriously, I think many of us love it when the underdog kicks the favorite’s butt.

    I vaguely remember seeing another episode like this on discover, where a mother wilderbeast single handedly rescues her calf (which was even younger than this one). Towards the end, the mom is sort of like that big buffalo – quite clearly intimidating to the predator, and it knew and acted it. It was putting out a can whuppass like the buffalo here.

  15. Mohna Priyanka Avatar
    Mohna Priyanka

    Hilarious would be a gross understatement. What creative genius your posts are laden with!

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