There are 2 kinds of people in the world today. Those who have watched The Video and those will watch it in the next few days.
It’s a hot dry day at Kruger National park, and a herd of water buffaloes is on its way. A pride of lions waits in ambush. I have translated Lionese into Tamil and English for my readers’ benefit
Lions Singaravelan, Singaperandi and 3 adiyaal (assistants)
Crocodile Veerappandi Mudalai-yaar
Young Water Buffalo Junior Yamavandi
Da Herd of Bad Ass Water Buffaloes
Singaaravelan: Dei. Anga Paaru da. Kutty erumai. (Ahoy. Look over ‘dere broder. One juicy small buffalo, with just 2 escorts.)
Singaperaandi: Aaaha. Yogam Vandhidicchu. (Oh yeah. Lady luck is smiling on us today).
(The chase begins. 5 lions. 3 buffaloes. The lions brilliantly split the buffaloes so that the one chasing the little one has no large horned escorts nearby. In an acrobatic leap, the lion catches the little one and both go crashing into the river nearby. The 5 lions descend on the little one, Junior Yamavandi. They go straight for his jugular. The buffalo struggles for life and just when things couldn’t get worse..
Veerappaandi Mudalai-yaar: (snif sniff) Erumai Rattham! Innaa Nadukudhu anga. ( I smell Buffalo blood. What’s happenin’ over there.)
(Croc attempts to drag Junior into the river, while 5 lions attempt to drag him ashore)
Singaravelan: Adachi pichakaara naye. Naama pudichomla? Freeyaa vuttu poi neeyaa vettaiyaadu. Idhu enguldhu. (You lazy ass croc. We caught this one. Its not yours. Go get one on your own)
(Junior uses nature-given mobile phone in his head and telepathically SMSes ‘pls hlp lns ct me nr rvr’ to Da Herd)
Singaravelan: Adachi setthu po. Vaailaa valikidhu (Getting tired of biting you. Die, you buffal0. Let us have our meal)
(Deep rumbling noises start to grow in volume)
Singaperaandi: Annaaachi. Konjam annaaanda look vudunga (Brother! You might wanna look over there. I think we are in deep doodoo)
Singaravelan: Stop wasting time and focus on killing this thing. That herd will go away if they sense that this guy is dead.
(Da Herd gathers around the pride. Menacingly. Nobody wants to take the initiative though. Afterall, cats are fast. They could gouge a buffalo’s eyes out before his horn rips into them. But Junior is hurting. This is no time for cowardice. One huge member of Da Herd charges the pride….
Da Herd member #1: Yo. You wanna piece of me. Imonna kick your….
(and lifts a lion with his horns and chases her away. This gives the herd confidence. Soon enough, most of the lions are gored or chased away. Junior is guided back into the center of the herd. He is shaken, but alive)
Junior: Tanks Maams. (Thank you very much!)