We are now officially the Kaattadi Kandasaamy Kriket Champions

We won.

Actually, we were winning till about the 17th over. Then the Pakis were winning till 19.3 overs. Then they lost the match to an ambitious shot by an audacious batsman who I am sure has a very bright future.

My father called T20 Kaattadi Kandasaamy Kriket a few days back. But not in a derisive tone. Clearly, all of us enjoyed watching this high energy sport that very importantly does not consume 8 hours of my life. Instead it’s a sweet 3 hours of mostly insane hitting and surprisingly enough, some incredibly deft bowling. Now that India have won the inaugural tournament, I am sure we will see a frenzy for this new format and given India’s clout in the ICC, I wouldn’t be surprised if this slowly eclipses the 50 over format. Frankly speaking, I have always been a fan of test cricket and the best one dayers can never hold a candle to the best tests. The Madras tie, anybody? The entire 2006 Ashes in England, anybody?

Needless to say, Ravi Shastri was on cliche overdrive. This match was going right down to the wire and it was anybody’s game and every once in a while it was Game on. And at the very end, apparently Cricket won.

Anyway, it was a lot of fun. I am sure everybody noticed those 4 tank-top Jilpaans dancing for every boundary. While I am not entirely sure if the spectators in the bottom row really appreciated having their already limited view further restricted by these wannabe Pintheru Pasanga and Minnunukka Poonakkutti

But back home in Chennai today, our Chief Minister completely lost his head. No. Not that way. He decided to essentially station every policeman and policewoman on the streets, one every few nanometres, just so he could feel safe in the face of all these beheading threats from somebody who looks like a man who has vowed to leave all material pleasures, do meditation in the himalayas, grow a beard, wear saffron robes but for inexplicable reasons, retain his Member of Parliament seat and issue Khomeiniesque Fatwas.

Actually, this whole episode is patently ridiculous. So ridiculous that it deserves to be patented. Indians (especially the subspecies Politicus Scumbagus ) can get offended by anything. Like Douglas Adams once said, technically speaking, every word we utter, however harmless, could possibly some alien species for whom that sound is the worst imaginable insult. So this Rama episode could spawn future incidents such as these:

#1 Tomorrow is an insult

Any Indian girl who understands English : Hey. When shall we meet again?

Andhra guy: Rape

Indian girl : Waaaaah. My honour has been besmirched.

Riotous mob from girl’s state: (burn. pillage. kill. plunder)

#2 You want a piece of me?

Tamil bloke : Hey. what seat would you prefer?

Karnataka guy: Near you beku

Tamil bloke : Dei. Who are you calling Beku.

Riotous mob from TN: (burn. pillage. kill. plunder)

#3 Private American Parts

Hefty Jat : Oi , where you are from in Amreeka?

NRI : Maryland

Hefty Jat: Abe teri %$^#$. Kya bol raha hai tu?

Riotous mob from Haryana: (burn. pillage. kill. plunder)

And so on.