The Blogosphere Zoopedia

6 months in the desi blogosphere, and I have had the pleasure of observing at close range, the various species that inhabit it. Clearly, it’s not an exhaustive list because as the saying goes, the universe is infinitely large, and I am not Captain Picard. So I trust that my readers will complete the list.

Random Thoughter

A vast majority of desi bloggers fall under this category. The title of their blogs follows the formula “Random Thoughts” of (adjective/adjectival phrase) (noun).

Howareyoufiner

These guys do not use traditional forms of communication, such as face-to-face meetings, telephones, email and pigeon post to exchange pleasantries. They use the comments section of their friends’ blogs to enquire thus “Hey da. How are you da? Long time no post da? Nice to catch up with you in the blogosphere da” etc.

Addmetoblogroller

“Hi. (positive adjective) blog dude. I’ve added you to my blogroll. (subtitles read – Hey. I scratch your back, you scratch mine)

Industrialmancooler

Uberfans. Will do anything to defend their favourite blog authors. “Hey you (bad word). Go take your losing arguments elsewhere. (blog author) is quite justified in denying the Holocaust.

ps: Chennaiites will be very familiar with “Industrial Man Coolers”, as it refers to those large Almonard fans used at weddings to evaporate millions of litres of human sweat.

Rageramaswamy

These types scour the net for axes to grind. With Lalita Wet Grinders. You (bad word). How dare you say (whatever author says)? Just because the internet gives you the freedom, you think you can get away with anything? Don’t think you are safely anonymous. We can track you down.

Two things to be noted. Rageramaswamies rarely provide their real email addresses. They tend to use monikers such as “(country/caste/group) patriot” or “Jai (country/caste/group)” and for some reason, very rarely use the singular. Note the “We” can track you down. They take refuge in mobs/groups and invent plurals even when there aren’t any.

Dontlikelosingargumenter

Common behaviors include deleting comments that discredit author’s point and sending private emails to explain the noble cause behind the comment deletion.

Ad-dict

Considers blog to be merely a vehicle for Google Adsense units. Top bar, side bar, Nav bar and In-post, hot links and flashing banner ads wrapped around a few words of actual content.

Contentpilferer

Standard operating procedure is – Take domain pan. Add lots of ads. Garnish with stolen content from elsewhere. Publish and serve to unsuspecting public.

Hypercommenter

People who write comments slightly longer than the Epic of Gilgamesh, but don’t have a blog themselves. These are the true heroes of the blogosphere, participating in the conversations instead of burdening us with more blogs to read.

Agendapusher

These commenters generally invoke (JC/Lord Ram/Art of Living/Other) no matter what the subject is.

Tagtagbangbanger

Bloggers who survive by taking up and doling out tags. Five things I like. Ten facts about myself. 20 Gaana songs I wish I could dance to. 100 reasons why this silly infectious tag disease is popular.

Liveblogocaster

The hardcore types who frequent every barcamp, blogcamp and unconference and blog live. 7.30 am. Dude showing powerpoint presentation. 8.30 am. Yet another dude showing powerpoint presentation. 9.30 am. Wow. What a change!. Somebody using Keynote on his Apple MacBook Pro. Etc.

Technoratiauthoritymaniac

Bloggers who check their Technorati authority slightly more frequently than the cricket score.

Sitemeterpsychotics

Bloggers who use 745 stats and analytics plugins to analyze their 500 hits a day in every possible dimension. Top posts, Top posts per tag. Top posts per latitude and longitude degree. Pingbacks. Trackbacks. And so on.

Update: Ah well. As Abi points out, things haven’t changed much in the last 2 years. Turns out there is an excellent lexicon (albeit 2 years old) of blog-related terms authored by Thennavan, here

29 Comments

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  1. what do you call a Random Thoughter who operates as a hypercommenter/comment whore but at the same time won’t mind being a Technoratiauthoritymaniac………

    tough one!

    Ashok: Hmm. Multitasker πŸ˜‰

  2. How we discover ourselves!

    As the pilgrim father pioneer among hypercommenters, I found that my own efforts at blogging ended up too stilted, formal.

    Much prefer responding to blogs. These responses tend to be unfettered, free, stream of consciousness incarnate….but sometimes cringeworthy too.

  3. Great job covering the not-so-useful types of blogs.

    Can we also have a roundup of the kinds of blogs that actually serve some purpose?

  4. Thank you so much for brightening up the day!

    BTW, have you seen this post by Thennavan from over two years ago? Change seems to be rather slow in Desi Blogdom …

    Ashok: Thanks for pointing it out. Ive linked to him in the post

  5. Mylifeisoutinpublicer – Someone who writes abt what he/she had for breakfast, what did he/she wear, what did my child say(minute-by-minute description), what will he/she cook for dinner etc etc…who is interested in these facts – only the bloggers know πŸ™‚

    Gyaaner – Gyaan about everythin in life – metaphysics to office politics…typical ‘what I say, I do not follow’ types…lotssaaa them on the blogosphere πŸ™‚

  6. Heehee…this list is both funny and true. I love the hypercommenter myself. How about the Dictionaryowner? That’s the one who uses sooooo many big words in one sentence that you’ve forgotten how it started when you reach the end. Oh and he/she usually posts about such heavy ‘very important’ issues that you feel slightly guilty about the rubbish you put on your own blog. πŸ˜‰

  7. Haha.. Good one. What about the ‘BloggersBlockBlogger’ – the one where one starts a blog thinking there is plenty of stuff worth blogging but find they have ‘blogger’s block’ once they start it? Like me πŸ˜‰

  8. //
    participating in the conversations instead of burdening us with more blogs to read
    //

    I sure see the lighter side of the post. But weren’t you the one who motivated Soundar to write a blog?

    Quoting your comment from the post “The Jilpa guide to organizing a …”

    Soundar,
    We will look forward to your blog. Blogroll space booked and reserved.

    Hee hee and as for “Blog rolling”, I think its just a permission to quote your posts and pull your leg without having to inform you about it.

    Voracious Blog Reader

  9. Ashok,
    There is another notable class of blogger you have missed: The Master Baiter; (no pun intended).
    These people provoke major ruckus or debate by posting a highly inflammable comment, and generate an average of 76 responses. They get their virtual kicks outta this….

  10. Holy crap dude!

    Great one dude. I have to tell you a story though:

    I go out of town for a few and get something posted on my blog today that had been pending. I come and check your blog and my god….the similarities are shocking!!! I did a piece on gym rats in a very similar way!! Check it out. I am truly stunned. Find a new category for me.

  11. LonelySelfStrokers:
    Folks who add multiple and often conflicting comments on their own blogs and respond to it with their original names.

    PrematureEjaculators:
    Folks whose blogs die out by the 5th article they post.

    Or am i really twisted here? Damn, I should start a “random thought ” blog .

  12. ROTFL… I am a “Random Thoughter” :D… Fie on you :(( … Your blog is addictive man!! I will finish all posts soon, and THEN what will I do at work :(((((?

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