Newtonian alternative histories

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So the apple fell on him and all of us learnt about gravity, rates of change and other cool things. Right?


But what if a penguin had fallen on him?


And what if?


A large, bloated window with lots of loose and sharp edges would have hurt Newton very badly.

24 responses to “Newtonian alternative histories”

  1. Durga Prasad Avatar
    Durga Prasad

    Hmm….You are right. I can’t imagine, what would have happened to him…if it was the third case.

  2. Priyank Avatar

    An apple a day will keep the doctor away

    Windows, otoh will keep everybody away ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. Karthik Krish Avatar
    Karthik Krish

    But Windows(Mobile) did kill the Newton.

  4. Rajendran Avatar

    hahaha – And the window came crashing by. kalakitte talaiva

  5. maxdavinci Avatar

    How do you manage to find time for all this?

    As always, superrrrrrrrrr

  6. Durga Prasad Avatar
    Durga Prasad

    I have the same question as Maxdavinci. I know you. I have seen your guitar concert, attended your presentation on web 2.0, seen your violin show, ……….. And finally got a chance to seen your blog (Source: Ultimatix CTO Blog) which has almost a single update every day.

    Will you sleep..??

  7. oemar Avatar

    In that case Newton would have ‘crashed’ and his theories would be full of ‘bugs’

  8. pr3rna Avatar

    Very Funny!!!

  9. Voracious Blog Reader Avatar

    Speaking of Newton reminds me of this joke

    Voracious Blog Reader

    – – – –

    Intellectual joke

    Once all the scientists die and go to
    heaven………… They decide
    to play hide-n-seek………Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den………..He is supposed to count up to 100…and then start searching…..

    Everyone starts hiding except Newton………
    Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein………..

    Einstein’s counting
    1,2,3……97,98,99…..100…….. He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front……..

    Einstein says “newton’s out..newton’s….out…..”
    Newton denies and says i am not out……..
    He claims that he is not Newton……

    All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton……….

    Newton says “I am standing in a square of area 1m squared….. That makes me Newton per meter squared…… since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I’m Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT………..!

  10. rambodoc Avatar

    If Windows (any type) had fallen on Newton , there would have been a ton of news about this. Any type of windows falls on your ass, you feel pane. Very much pane. Just Mac my words, like an emerging Leopard.
    As it was the Apple, I saacked the Bill out of the Gates, and took up the Jobs.

  11. rambodoc Avatar

    …… With great gravity, and no inertia.

  12. Vijay Avatar

    Soober thalaiva!!

    Karthik Krish: I think the Palm Pilot killed the Newton. Windows Mobile & the Pocket PC caught on later.

  13. Varun Avatar

    Just dropped in to say Hi! Nice blog, especially loved your sketch in the sidebar. How did you do that?

  14. krishashok Avatar

    Maxdavinci, Durgaprasad
    I possess a strange alien gene that helps me slow down time. Just kidding. Seriously, this does not take too much of my time. If you look closely, it’s a complete copy-paste job from various sources, craftily knitted together by cunning use of Photoshop. 30 mins overall

    You BSD loving academic geek. Ill have to think about this now. Perhaps it’s a group of small lightweight daemons who do Newton’s bidding and help him do way more than just discover gravity and calculus. Perhaps they could have prevented him from wasting many years on alchemy and other dubious pursuits.

    It’s a series of filters in photoshop, inspired by the movie “A Scanner Darkly”. Try googling for “photoshop effect Scanner darkly” and you will get several tutorials. You will need to play around a little bit with the settings to get it right though.

    Tanks machi

    ROFL ๐Ÿ™‚

    The hat is already off, and has stayed there ever since your first comment here. What do you eat? Tea and Pun?

  15. K Avatar

    If windows had fallen on Newton, he would been the most hated guy in the tech-world.

  16. Vivek Avatar

    arent you being a bit harsh on windows ๐Ÿ˜‰

    open source is good, but i bet myself another comment here on this post – you use windows too ๐Ÿ™‚

    if i win i get another comment , if i loose its ok anyway

  17. krishashok Avatar

    I use Apple at home, and Windows at work, simply because Im forced to.

    Since I cannot guarantee that every post on this blog was authored on a mac, lets call this one a draw ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. Vivek Avatar

    same here, windows at work , and windows at work (read home – notebook user )

    agreed for draw

    looks like this would be another interlagos ๐Ÿ˜‰ BTW what an awesome GP it was. Not sure if you follow F1, but a (humourous post) on Formula one from DJSJ would be awesome.

    thanks for all the funny posts. really rib tickling.

  19. Ankur Aggarwal Avatar

    =)) this is amazing

  20. […] like this one ,nor it is a confession blog like this one , neither it is a blog by this guy who confuses Physics and History with Operating Systems(Just Kidding), but simply a conversation that happened between me(A […]

  21. K.Ramachandran Avatar

    @VBR : nice Newton-Pascal joke, copied and pasted it and may use it in my blog ๐Ÿ™‚

  22. K.Ramachandran Avatar

    In Verse:
    Newton became a rascal,
    Pretending to be Pascal.

  23. Joe Avatar

    If only BSD would of fallen on him instead… I’d pick a demon with a pitchfork over a sharp, murderous Window any day. So tragic…

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