(black) race to the white house, part #1

Remember Loo. Su. Mani and Pay. Mani?


They are lower rung party workers (and part-time poster designers) and have given their bodies to the soil and lives to their leader (Udal Mannukku, Uyir Thalaivarukku).

They recently had a discussion on the upcoming US elections, and I had the privilege to eavesdrop.

LSM: What brother ?(Ennannae?)

PM: I am well, brother. Thalaivar’s posters stuckaa?

LSM: Yes yes. From Ennore to Vandalur, our leader’s benevolent gaze confers bliss upon the city.

PM: Good good. Did you hear about the elections in America?

LSM: Yes yes. Some primary election is going on no?

PM: Yes. To choose who will run in the election in November.

LSM: Oh. For that also, election aa? Whatay waste of money ya. Why don’t they just choose a leader after the election? It’s not as if a single person runs the government right? So how does it matter who that nominal figurehead is?

PM: No no. America is different. They drive on the wrong side of the road and eat super-sized fries with diet Pepsi. They are different.

LSM: Oh. Appidi (like that). So what are the key election issues?

PM: Abortion

LSM: What? Why is a woman’s private decision a public matter?

PM: I don’t know. Something to do with a culture of life.

LSM: So scientists cannot throw away petri-dishes containing live bacteria in the lab?

PM: Yes.

LSM: Oho. And what else?

PM: Same sex marriages.

LSM: Oh. What is that?

PM: For e.g, 2 men getting married to each other.

LSM: So what’s the problem? Let them do that no? Doesn’t it save money on jewellery?

PM: I don’t know. Something to do with the sanctity of marriage.

LSM: Oh. As if they are putting marriage in a temple and doing abhishekham daily. Don’t most marriages in the US anyway end in divorces? So where is the sanctity really?

PM: I don’t know much about America but when I try to imagine a gay Tambram wedding, I can see a lot of potential administrative issues. For instance, what happens to the Kanya Dhaanam in a man-man marriage? Or all those mantras urging the couple to be fruitful and multiply? Will they now change it to “May you adopt many male children“? Which of the guys will go for the Kaasi Yatra? Will they both tie thaalis to each other?

LSM: Hmm. Complex issues.

PM: Yes. I have always wondered about one thing though. How do they do booth capturing in the US? Does it work the same way it does here?

LSM: No saar. In America, they don’t need to capture booths. They simply capture software. Specifically the one that powers these things.

PM: Oh I see. By the way, did you see the rediff.com article on the US elections?

LSM: Oh? There was a rediff article?

PM: Yeah. And as usual I just completely skipped reading the article and went straight for the comments section. That’s where all the profundity usually lies. See here. The wisdom of the crowds in action explaining the key issues in the US election.


LSM: Hmm. Profound indeed. So do you think Obama will win the nomination?

PM: He should, but it’s a tight race.

LSM: I feel Obama needs better posters. American graphic designers seem to lack the ability to deliver a punch.

PM: What do you have in mind?

LSM: This.