(black) race to the white house, part #1

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Remember Loo. Su. Mani and Pay. Mani?


They are lower rung party workers (and part-time poster designers) and have given their bodies to the soil and lives to their leader (Udal Mannukku, Uyir Thalaivarukku).

They recently had a discussion on the upcoming US elections, and I had the privilege to eavesdrop.

LSM: What brother ?(Ennannae?)

PM: I am well, brother. Thalaivar’s posters stuckaa?

LSM: Yes yes. From Ennore to Vandalur, our leader’s benevolent gaze confers bliss upon the city.

PM: Good good. Did you hear about the elections in America?

LSM: Yes yes. Some primary election is going on no?

PM: Yes. To choose who will run in the election in November.

LSM: Oh. For that also, election aa? Whatay waste of money ya. Why don’t they just choose a leader after the election? It’s not as if a single person runs the government right? So how does it matter who that nominal figurehead is?

PM: No no. America is different. They drive on the wrong side of the road and eat super-sized fries with diet Pepsi. They are different.

LSM: Oh. Appidi (like that). So what are the key election issues?

PM: Abortion

LSM: What? Why is a woman’s private decision a public matter?

PM: I don’t know. Something to do with a culture of life.

LSM: So scientists cannot throw away petri-dishes containing live bacteria in the lab?

PM: Yes.

LSM: Oho. And what else?

PM: Same sex marriages.

LSM: Oh. What is that?

PM: For e.g, 2 men getting married to each other.

LSM: So what’s the problem? Let them do that no? Doesn’t it save money on jewellery?

PM: I don’t know. Something to do with the sanctity of marriage.

LSM: Oh. As if they are putting marriage in a temple and doing abhishekham daily. Don’t most marriages in the US anyway end in divorces? So where is the sanctity really?

PM: I don’t know much about America but when I try to imagine a gay Tambram wedding, I can see a lot of potential administrative issues. For instance, what happens to the Kanya Dhaanam in a man-man marriage? Or all those mantras urging the couple to be fruitful and multiply? Will they now change it to “May you adopt many male children“? Which of the guys will go for the Kaasi Yatra? Will they both tie thaalis to each other?

LSM: Hmm. Complex issues.

PM: Yes. I have always wondered about one thing though. How do they do booth capturing in the US? Does it work the same way it does here?

LSM: No saar. In America, they don’t need to capture booths. They simply capture software. Specifically the one that powers these things.

PM: Oh I see. By the way, did you see the rediff.com article on the US elections?

LSM: Oh? There was a rediff article?

PM: Yeah. And as usual I just completely skipped reading the article and went straight for the comments section. That’s where all the profundity usually lies. See here. The wisdom of the crowds in action explaining the key issues in the US election.


LSM: Hmm. Profound indeed. So do you think Obama will win the nomination?

PM: He should, but it’s a tight race.

LSM: I feel Obama needs better posters. American graphic designers seem to lack the ability to deliver a punch.

PM: What do you have in mind?

LSM: This.



48 responses to “(black) race to the white house, part #1”

  1. Amrutha Avatar

    lol… good one…but what’s the elephant doing on an Obama poster?? Or was it deliberate?
    Ashok: The elephants are supposed to be getting their posteriors kicked by the donkey

  2. anantha Avatar

    Amrutha: The Donkey and the Elephant are the party symbols for the Republicans and the Democrats respectively.

    KA: O’ B.A, M.A ROTFL!

  3. anantha Avatar

    Btw, who is that gal in pic?
    Ashok: I’m sure some of the commenters will know πŸ™‚

  4. maxdavinci Avatar

    gay tambrams? sacrilege!

    ayyo my evil mind is giving me tonnes of ideas….

    venda venda, i gotta get back to wrk…

  5. munimma Avatar

    4 yaanaiyum oru kazhuthayum iruntha, kazhuthaikku votu podungannu solraru karuppannasaami – finger pointing see?

    change changenu, seriyana chillra aasaami!

    pi ku: aama, antha ponnu yaaru?
    Ashok: I’m going to wait for somebody to recognize her

  6. Kiran Avatar

    mannnn!! O, B.A, M.A…pure genius kris, ash…o.k! πŸ™‚ btw, we gotta have a rediff discussion board religion…we have too many followers amongst us but no religion to identify!! Maybe, modi can help!
    Ashok: Hmm. Now that’s a thought. Rediff message boards are a form of opium. I need my fix daily, as do many other people apparently. So what with religion being the opium of the masses and all that, I think we need to meet and found the “Church of the DeletedFollowingAbuseAlert” a.k.a the Church of Rediffboardism

  7. jackson Avatar

    O, BA, MA.. too good machi..

  8. Pri Avatar

    Is that Monicaaa oo my dooorling?

  9. Vijay Avatar

    Is it Janet Jackson?
    Who is the bearded greek with the helmet? Pericles?? What is the relevance?

  10. pok Avatar

    obama gal!

  11. Lavanya Avatar

    outsorcery. πŸ™‚ man, you should compile a dictionary.

    will part 2 focus on Hillary? didn’t u claim to be a one-time-focus-only guy?!

  12. Divya Avatar

    oi! Your Obama poster is still too good by Indian Poster Standards. Pls add in a blue to red gradient in the background and bevel all the Barack O, B.A., M.A πŸ™‚

    Made my day!

  13. James  Mylaporean Avatar
    James Mylaporean

    Ashok : Isn’t that your Managing Partner on the poster ? Any prizes for the correct answer ?
    Ashok: It isn’t and er.. no prizes:)

  14. Vijay Avatar

    Wow pok!! That’s too good.
    I got the relevance for the Greek chap, who I still think is Pericles. One of the great Democrats of ancient Greece.
    Ashok: I got sidetracked by the trivia last time. This post is superb. I have a minor quibbling point though. How could you forget to put in a picture of Lincoln? I mean, your Man is from Illinois?!!
    Ashok: It is Pericles. And I considered Lincoln, but then realized that he rode an elephant.

  15. Amrutha Avatar

    ah! got it! i was wondering if you mixed up the symbols or something…i should have known…that there would be some profound meaning to their presence… πŸ˜›

  16. kavitha Avatar

    laugh riot that bit on (alternative life style) tambrahm wedding!

  17. preeti Avatar

    I was wonderin how come no Lincoln presence too….Now I got why…! πŸ™‚

  18. sri Avatar

    Dude…i am riveted in this space for continuous 2 days and enjoying every bit here..am addicted now..unable to control my urge to read everything here..only writer balakumaran was making this magic and you have it now…
    in short…thalaivaa….ungal sevai engalukku thevai….

  19. Shruthi Avatar

    Loved the poster!

  20. aandthirtyeights Avatar

    I demand that a photo of Harbhajan Singh with a red X mark over him feature on the Poster. It would underscore Obama’s anti-weed and anti-racist views.

  21. Suresh Ramasubramanian Avatar

    The Rev Jesse Jackson, Pericles and Janet Jackson

    Phew, what a combo
    Ashok: It’s Martin Luther King, Pericles and Obama Girl

  22. idiot Avatar

    jessee jackson?
    looks more like martin luther king jr

  23. My3 Avatar

    HEY! What about us, Hillary supporters. Can we put in an order for Amma’s poster pliss??

    come again
    Ashok: Hmm. I will yosicchufy

  24. Galadriel Avatar

    KA, sooper!
    ana wonly won koshan. if loo.su.mani is the official thug and pay.mani is his underthug, how come LSM addresses him as ‘big brother’?
    Ashok: Good point. Now after some considerable analysis, I have come to the conclusion that it was a slip and it really should have been “Ennalae” or “Ennada”.

  25. satts Avatar

    Come to think of it.I hope some Rahul Girl does some desi version of Obama Girl’s video. That willbe a sight πŸ™‚

  26. complicateur Avatar

    L.S.Mani and P. Mani sound like “Mary Figures” . Its ok I’ll swalpa adjust in my maadi. I found out recently that MLK had some rather segregationist things to say about Asians so maybe you should Oprah on the poster!

  27. Anu Avatar

    Talking about “outsorcery” –

    watch the movie “Outsourced”

    and I will look forward to a post on that one…

    (and err on related matters …No doubt Ma’am Clinton would find this poster Hilarious…)

  28. Adithya Avatar

    adhu epdi adhu onglala mattun mudiyudhu?!!

  29. jynn Avatar

    Dude ,Rediff message boards are blocked in my aapice …i used to get a high from all the comments sadly i miss it…..I am getting laptop for that

  30. gayathri Avatar

    wow!!!amaazing laughter riot!!:)))

  31. Thenga Chutney Avatar

    ROFL @ Bajrang boy. He’s awesome.

  32. Varun Avatar

    “WE MUST STEAL ALL THEIR MONEY”. Brilliat!! πŸ™‚ And the poster was truly profound. Sometimes I wonder, how much time you would have spent on writing each of your blog πŸ™‚

  33. Ambika Avatar

    Sorry to be so backward, but what is ROFL?

    Need to know, since the comments are as interesting as the original piece!

    LM and PM are quite a pair, though they do lapse out of their tanglish while discussing the gay marriages!

    Tambram gay marriages…. hmmm …. the mind boggles at the possibilities!!

    As maxdavinci says, I better get back to work!

  34. oruaviyindiary Avatar

    couldnt help asking…any significane of dragging pericles( may his soul rest in pieces) into all this? And wonder what music they play while waiting for their ‘thalaivar’ to come and taalk. Is there an American Version of ‘thulluvado Ilamai’ πŸ˜€

  35. maami Avatar

    ROFL (Roll on the floor laughing)-am!
    KA: RJP (Romba joru pa)!
    Though ‘Kundrin mel Kumarans’ (‘ Young gayboys atop hillocks’ circa 2079, a la brokeback mtn awaits your penmanship). louwers names: swaminathan and ramanathan.
    Mama’s name:ramasubramaniam, maami’s name: meenakshi-suitable for ramu mama, to scratch back with poonal and thunder:”Meenakshi, inda pilaiyaandan panna kootha ketayadi”
    Write fast, no?

  36. Ambika Avatar

    Thanks Maami!

    I did ROFL reading your comment as well!

  37. Kim Avatar

    When is part #2 getting bloglished?! We are geting impatient..!Days pass in prevision…darn.

  38. bombaygirl Avatar

    Love the poster! And the O., B.A., M.A.

  39. Murali Avatar

    Your humor is original and cutting. I have become a regular reader here.

  40. jillu Avatar

    This is not a bad time to thank you for clarifying my doubt on ‘Saroja, saaman nikalo.”

    Your appil ipod post made me popular with a bunch of folks, simply for taking the trouble of forwarding it to them.

    Nalla eru pa…

  41. Ninja Avatar


  42. radhika Avatar

    OBAMA ’08! (jsyk, this is the most hilarious tambrahm blog. ever. as a proper american iyengar ponnu, i approve. :D)

  43. heather0spicy Avatar

    Go Obama Go! ( i reallydon’t care about it tho i’m Canadian…….

  44. Nagu Avatar

    Simply superb. You should listen to my 11 year old reading your posts(not this one!). He just cracks up… The Iyer vs Iyengar had him in splits.

  45. Venkat Avatar

    goodness gracious me i have never seen anything like this,you are the pinnacle of sarcastic humour

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