(black) race to the white house, part #1

Remember Loo. Su. Mani and Pay. Mani?

loosupay

They are lower rung party workers (and part-time poster designers) and have given their bodies to the soil and lives to their leader (Udal Mannukku, Uyir Thalaivarukku).

They recently had a discussion on the upcoming US elections, and I had the privilege to eavesdrop.

LSM: What brother ?(Ennannae?)

PM: I am well, brother. Thalaivar’s posters stuckaa?

LSM: Yes yes. From Ennore to Vandalur, our leader’s benevolent gaze confers bliss upon the city.

PM: Good good. Did you hear about the elections in America?

LSM: Yes yes. Some primary election is going on no?

PM: Yes. To choose who will run in the election in November.

LSM: Oh. For that also, election aa? Whatay waste of money ya. Why don’t they just choose a leader after the election? It’s not as if a single person runs the government right? So how does it matter who that nominal figurehead is?

PM: No no. America is different. They drive on the wrong side of the road and eat super-sized fries with diet Pepsi. They are different.

LSM: Oh. Appidi (like that). So what are the key election issues?

PM: Abortion

LSM: What? Why is a woman’s private decision a public matter?

PM: I don’t know. Something to do with a culture of life.

LSM: So scientists cannot throw away petri-dishes containing live bacteria in the lab?

PM: Yes.

LSM: Oho. And what else?

PM: Same sex marriages.

LSM: Oh. What is that?

PM: For e.g, 2 men getting married to each other.

LSM: So what’s the problem? Let them do that no? Doesn’t it save money on jewellery?

PM: I don’t know. Something to do with the sanctity of marriage.

LSM: Oh. As if they are putting marriage in a temple and doing abhishekham daily. Don’t most marriages in the US anyway end in divorces? So where is the sanctity really?

PM: I don’t know much about America but when I try to imagine a gay Tambram wedding, I can see a lot of potential administrative issues. For instance, what happens to the Kanya Dhaanam in a man-man marriage? Or all those mantras urging the couple to be fruitful and multiply? Will they now change it to “May you adopt many male children“? Which of the guys will go for the Kaasi Yatra? Will they both tie thaalis to each other?

LSM: Hmm. Complex issues.

PM: Yes. I have always wondered about one thing though. How do they do booth capturing in the US? Does it work the same way it does here?

LSM: No saar. In America, they don’t need to capture booths. They simply capture software. Specifically the one that powers these things.

PM: Oh I see. By the way, did you see the rediff.com article on the US elections?

LSM: Oh? There was a rediff article?

PM: Yeah. And as usual I just completely skipped reading the article and went straight for the comments section. That’s where all the profundity usually lies. See here. The wisdom of the crowds in action explaining the key issues in the US election.

rediffintheus

LSM: Hmm. Profound indeed. So do you think Obama will win the nomination?

PM: He should, but it’s a tight race.

LSM: I feel Obama needs better posters. American graphic designers seem to lack the ability to deliver a punch.

PM: What do you have in mind?

LSM: This.

obamaposter

47 Comments

Leave a Comment

  1. lol… good one…but what’s the elephant doing on an Obama poster?? Or was it deliberate?
    Ashok: The elephants are supposed to be getting their posteriors kicked by the donkey

  2. 4 yaanaiyum oru kazhuthayum iruntha, kazhuthaikku votu podungannu solraru karuppannasaami – finger pointing see?

    change changenu, seriyana chillra aasaami!

    pi ku: aama, antha ponnu yaaru?
    Ashok: I’m going to wait for somebody to recognize her

  3. mannnn!! O, B.A, M.A…pure genius kris, ash…o.k! πŸ™‚ btw, we gotta have a rediff discussion board religion…we have too many followers amongst us but no religion to identify!! Maybe, modi can help!
    Ashok: Hmm. Now that’s a thought. Rediff message boards are a form of opium. I need my fix daily, as do many other people apparently. So what with religion being the opium of the masses and all that, I think we need to meet and found the “Church of the DeletedFollowingAbuseAlert” a.k.a the Church of Rediffboardism

  4. outsorcery. πŸ™‚ man, you should compile a dictionary.

    will part 2 focus on Hillary? didn’t u claim to be a one-time-focus-only guy?!

  5. oi! Your Obama poster is still too good by Indian Poster Standards. Pls add in a blue to red gradient in the background and bevel all the Barack O, B.A., M.A πŸ™‚

    Made my day!

  6. Ashok : Isn’t that your Managing Partner on the poster ? Any prizes for the correct answer ?
    Ashok: It isn’t and er.. no prizes:)

  7. Wow pok!! That’s too good.
    I got the relevance for the Greek chap, who I still think is Pericles. One of the great Democrats of ancient Greece.
    Ashok: I got sidetracked by the trivia last time. This post is superb. I have a minor quibbling point though. How could you forget to put in a picture of Lincoln? I mean, your Man is from Illinois?!!
    Ashok: It is Pericles. And I considered Lincoln, but then realized that he rode an elephant.

  8. ah! got it! i was wondering if you mixed up the symbols or something…i should have known…that there would be some profound meaning to their presence… πŸ˜›

  9. Dude…i am riveted in this space for continuous 2 days and enjoying every bit here..am addicted now..unable to control my urge to read everything here..only writer balakumaran was making this magic and you have it now…
    in short…thalaivaa….ungal sevai engalukku thevai….

  10. HEY! What about us, Hillary supporters. Can we put in an order for Amma’s poster pliss??

    thankyou
    come again
    Ashok: Hmm. I will yosicchufy

  11. KA, sooper!
    ana wonly won koshan. if loo.su.mani is the official thug and pay.mani is his underthug, how come LSM addresses him as ‘big brother’?
    Ashok: Good point. Now after some considerable analysis, I have come to the conclusion that it was a slip and it really should have been “Ennalae” or “Ennada”.

  12. L.S.Mani and P. Mani sound like “Mary Figures” . Its ok I’ll swalpa adjust in my maadi. I found out recently that MLK had some rather segregationist things to say about Asians so maybe you should Oprah on the poster!

  13. Talking about “outsorcery” –

    watch the movie “Outsourced”

    and I will look forward to a post on that one…

    (and err on related matters …No doubt Ma’am Clinton would find this poster Hilarious…)

  14. Dude ,Rediff message boards are blocked in my aapice …i used to get a high from all the comments sadly i miss it…..I am getting laptop for that

  15. “WE MUST STEAL ALL THEIR MONEY”. Brilliat!! πŸ™‚ And the poster was truly profound. Sometimes I wonder, how much time you would have spent on writing each of your blog πŸ™‚

  16. Sorry to be so backward, but what is ROFL?

    Need to know, since the comments are as interesting as the original piece!

    LM and PM are quite a pair, though they do lapse out of their tanglish while discussing the gay marriages!

    Tambram gay marriages…. hmmm …. the mind boggles at the possibilities!!

    As maxdavinci says, I better get back to work!

  17. couldnt help asking…any significane of dragging pericles( may his soul rest in pieces) into all this? And wonder what music they play while waiting for their ‘thalaivar’ to come and taalk. Is there an American Version of ‘thulluvado Ilamai’ πŸ˜€

  18. Ambika,
    ROFL (Roll on the floor laughing)-am!
    KA: RJP (Romba joru pa)!
    Though ‘Kundrin mel Kumarans’ (‘ Young gayboys atop hillocks’ circa 2079, a la brokeback mtn awaits your penmanship). louwers names: swaminathan and ramanathan.
    Mama’s name:ramasubramaniam, maami’s name: meenakshi-suitable for ramu mama, to scratch back with poonal and thunder:”Meenakshi, inda pilaiyaandan panna kootha ketayadi”
    Write fast, no?

  19. This is not a bad time to thank you for clarifying my doubt on ‘Saroja, saaman nikalo.”

    Your appil ipod post made me popular with a bunch of folks, simply for taking the trouble of forwarding it to them.

    Nalla eru pa…

  20. Simply superb. You should listen to my 11 year old reading your posts(not this one!). He just cracks up… The Iyer vs Iyengar had him in splits.

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