Online Indian Male 2.0

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Startup Sundaramoorthy and Venture Venkatakrishnan meet up at Barista, Besant Nagar over some coffee. Actually make that Latte with carcinogenic artifical sweeteners. And they discuss some very disturbing Internet stats.

SS: Did you know that 60% of Facebook users are women?
VV: Yes. And over 55% of MySpace users as well?
SS: The Indian Blogosphere is also overwhelmingly dominated by women. A look at any comment thread in the Indian Web will convince you of that.
VV: Apart from rediff of course.
SS: Oh yes, that reminds me. Did you see the latest stats from the Gabtun of Web Analytics – Chinna Counter?
VV: No. Is he good?
SS: Oh yeah. He is the absolute authority on desi web stats. And this is what he had to say about Indian men on the web.

VV: Sad. What happened to those good old days of the All Male Web. Web 2.0 seems to be all about 2.0 chromosomes, of the X variety specifically.
SS: We must do something about it. We must restore a sense of balance to the Indian Web. We must buy up some land in the valley between Trisulam hill and St Thomas Mount and startup some Web companies that bring the machismo back to the web.
VV: What do you have in mind?
SS: Pigg.

VV: Pigg?
SS: Yes. actually. An exclusively male social platform where men can share, discuss and vote up ideas on how to restore male hegemony on the Indian blogosphere.
VV: Awesome. What else?
SS: I used to be a Flickr user, but now there are too many women there. They and their enhanced visual sensitivities, passing judgement on my weak reds, insubstantial beiges, poor shadows and anaemic contrast. Bah. I have always wanted an all-male Photosharing app where real men can post photos without all this critical commentary from women, where we can also privately share images of item girls we secretly love.
VV: Yeah.
SS: So I propose

VV: I’m in. I’d angel fund even in my sleep.
SS: Im not done yet. Have you ever had to change the channel when a particularly raunchy song featuring your favourite actress played on TV, just to maintain a personal image of being a morally upright citizen who deplores the objectification of women in Kollywood?
VV: Many a time.
SS: Of course, you could watch it on later on youtube in the private, but personally, I can’t stand all the rest of junk I have to wade through there. So I propose an exclusive social video site dedicated to songs we cannot watch with the family.

VV: Could you pass me the telescope please?
SS: What ever for?
VV: You have gone so far away that even my laser surgery enhanced 20/20 eyesight cannot spot you without some optical help.
SS: And we shouldn’t forget cricket. As the city with the largest cricket lovers to Indian national team cricketers ratio, I believe we need a space to meet up, socialize and rant about all these years of TN-bias in the BCCI. Where I can rip apart vetthuparties such as Arun Lal, Vikram Rathore and David Johnson, who got selected while Sridharan Sharath was always given a miss.

VV: Absolutely required.
SS: And finally, we need to do something about the village folk of our state. I envision a social platform, where rural machismo is on central display. I’m talking Kaavadi, extreme piercing, Jalli kattu and of course, walking on coals.
VV: And what are you going to call that one?
SS: My personal favourite is walking on coals, and even more importantly, I can’t seem to conjure up a suitable pun using the other ones, so I’m planning to call this one

60 responses to “Online Indian Male 2.0”

  1. Navaneethan Santhanam Avatar

    Saar, rhomba super ideas. Neenga oru VC-kku suggest pannungo, sure-a dhuddu kadaikkum.

    You won’t even be asked what your ‘India strategy’ is!

    Awesome, awesome post!

  2. kavitha Avatar

    chinna counter…lmao!
    can we expect an indian female 2.0 as well? 😉
    Ashok: Umm. No 🙂

  3. Pradeep Avatar

    you meant largest?
    Ashok. Ah. yes. Numerator-Denominator confusion. Fixed now.

  4. Pradeep Avatar

    [b]As the city with the smallest cricket lovers to Indian national team cricketers ratio[\b]
    the previous comment was in reference to this..

  5. […] என்று புள்ளிவிவரத்தையும் தவறாமல் […]

  6. Aditya Avatar

    Supero Super. Best was Jollu Tube- Broad cast yourself!


    He meant smallest ratio I believe.

  7. Hrishikesh Avatar

    rofl, boss! great start to my day!

  8. Prabhu Avatar

    Nice one after a long time.

  9. Aqua Avatar

    LOL! What will Krish Ashok think of next. Hilarious as always.

    rediff, vandalizing girls’s orkut profiles…hahha. that must have been some pretty intense research.

    pigg? ho ho ho. i won’t be surprised if someone actually picks up on one of these ideas 🙂

  10. aiyayyoh Avatar

    @Aditya –
    Krish said
    “BroadS cast yourself”
    There is deeper meaning to it, then “broadcast yourself”

    Krish – Your “what Angry Young Indian Men are doing” ratio is sooper o sooper.
    And isn’t that cute?!
    They surely deserve that domain. 😉

  11. La Vida Loca Avatar

    very funny. lolz at jollu tube

  12. JANE Avatar

    Braoads, cast yourself!
    tat was a goo one..

    and hey, the MC on top of the PIGG was supposed to be an acronym for MALE CHAUVINIST?

    MASTER beta become MISTRESS beta, after al the MATTER BETA.. haaaaaaaaa

    RSS feedburner, became feet burner- ha ha, but it seems like ya wanted to work around feedburner and get it connected somehow- rural machoism!- not a bad story

  13. Junker Avatar

    Hahaha… ROTFL … Waiting for Vista to boot up…

  14. philramble Avatar

    Awesome freaking post. First time here. Hunted you out after I read the darth vader plus chembai post. Google for “darth vader chembai” and you’re bound to go back to your own post!

  15. jkeverywhere Avatar

    awsome man u inspire..

  16. narendra shenoy Avatar

    How about to present a platform to the millions of sardarjees who are the hapless victims of all those jokes…

  17. desigirl Avatar

    Can you do my multimedia and photoshop project submissions for me pliss?
    Ashok: Ahem. Billing rates?

  18. maami Avatar

    I’m quite intrigued by what you mention. Any guesses why women are swarming in cyberspace and slapping their pictures in all these places for the world to check ’em out? Even when they run the risk of being cyber stalked and the dangers of creepy friendly attention etc? Does it signal the death of the feminine mystery and mystique?
    P.S:I’m dead on JolluTube!
    Ashok: My guess is that internet socialization is safe compared to real world, physical socialization. Interactions on the web come with much less emotional baggage. Some sociologists say that women are the communicators (blah blah) while men are hunters (grunt kill), so the Social web is pretty much the best thing that happened to women since the Suffrage movement. It is a platform to express openly, say anything one wants and form an identity without it being unduly influenced by existing mores

  19. maami Avatar

    Cyberspace and liberation of female voices? Wow. Let’s watch where this road leads us to. Thanks.
    Also, is your fan base predominantly female too? 🙂
    Ashok: Well. That’s the “expert” opinion. I am not quite sure how typing liberates. And fanbase is predominanly Almonard 🙂

  20. desigirl Avatar

    Billing rates aa? Appadinna? Can’t you chalk it up to work experience?!

  21. ramblingperfectionist Avatar

    NICE! By the way, as far as a video sharing site dedicated to “naughty” stuff is concerned, several sites do very well.

    And the indian blogosphere is dominated by women? Really? All the rest I can see, but I always thought women who blog-decently, at least- tend to be a very different group.
    Ashok: Now, the only reason I removed the link is to prevent Google from getting any ideas while indexing this 🙂 And sorry, I didn’t quite get your decent-blogger logic

  22. Arun Sundar Avatar

    “Waiting for Vista to boot up”

    Classic krish!!

  23. Directhit Avatar

    Mattr LOL!! you rock!!

  24. Labak Das Avatar
    Labak Das

    And the remaining 1% of your Angry Young Men are writing comments like this 😛
    Nice one.

  25. gcmouli Avatar

    Brilliant as usual. I am surprised that no one has commented on the Gabtain stats. ROFL. Gabtan can take kounts for any population sample in India. “Indiala aaru lakshathu muppathi iyyairam perum computera paakaranga … adhule … rendu lakshathi ……….. :))) “

  26. Balachandar S Avatar
    Balachandar S

    Waiting for Windows Vista to bootup. ROTFL
    பழசெல்லாம் மறந்திடபடாது.

  27. Ambika Avatar

    aah, I finally got it ” en gajee”,, ho ho. Was working my brain cells to figure that one.

    You forgot the males who were burning ksrtc buses, and objecting to Jodhaa being Akbar’s wife or some such.

  28. Avinash Avatar

    unga veedu ippo window-less environment nu puriyudu 😛

    Surprised no one got en-gadgee ;-)…

    As for what you told Maami, I guess there is one more reason for this. Women tend to maintain their social relationships a lot more than men. In the sense facebook and myspace give women an easier and better way of maintaining contacts.

  29. Chandoo Avatar

    wow… funding evala venum?

    hilarious ideas. How about the all male search engine? oogle? see for yourself. …

  30. pinastro Avatar

    Hmmm …Dhool ..

    I think Women have always been most talkative and very communicative but it has been the male dominated society all around which has forced them to be reserved and introvert(which is probably only a recent(1000 or 2000 years ) trend. Web 2.0 may be ushering an era for women finally….he he

    (by your statistics it seems like Web 2.0 revolution has been THE TRUE MAHILA MUKTI MOTION )

    I had this question “Whether women are getting more addicted to Social networking sites and blogosphere than men ? “I never thought so much research could be done on this topic..

    By the way are these numbers real or just imaginary statistics?

  31. Banno Avatar

    Awesomely funny! Will read it once every day I think, until your next post.

  32. maxdavinci Avatar

    social networking was a woman’s brainchild.

    Who else will want to know why Suresh Reddy and Sandhya chinchpokli are now friends. Or why sanjay shastri took the likeness test, Why in the world do i want to know that sudha ramaswamy scored 9/10 in a ‘U me aur hum quiz?’

    well sallu miyan sang it int he voice of the great SPB ‘huyyye raaam kooodhoyon ka haynn jamanaaaa’, It all makes sense now!

  33. scudie Avatar

    thalaiavaa.. u r back with a bang! all the ideas actually seem workable! these websites would develop a cult following..

    ur intellectual thought process is leaking out from ur answer to maami in comments..

  34. maami Avatar

    Sigh for us Usha Lexus and Greaves women!

  35. Babu Avatar

    “Chinna Counter”, “Could you pass me the telescope please?”, “Feetburner”

    lmao…..Krish Sir…engayo poyiteenga Sir!!!

  36. Babu Avatar

    I kind of applied my own theory based on your “study”..nothing remotely funny as yours

  37. Sharanya Manivannan Avatar

    Oh yes. Angry young men are not just commenting on feminist blogs, they’re running off angrily back to their own blogs and spending much time crafting angry FUs to the writers of said feminist blogs. Much energy being expended this way, entertaining us feminist bloggers!

  38. gireesh Avatar

    LOL.sooper Ashok..Particularly..JolluTube and mattr….
    Well I guess the real reason for blogosphere being dominated by women is the supposed “engless knowledge” … 😛

  39. Marc Avatar

    Good stuff man. Almost Rambodoc-like puns!

  40. Giridhar Avatar

    awesome post.. very good thinking! mattr and feetburner are heights… keep them coming..

    even if u increase ur number of posts to 1 per day…guess u will not run out of ideas…

  41. Diwakar Muthu Avatar

    Saar, romba super. Your posting rate is Phenemonal. This is really superb…..laughing loud…chinna counter and jollutube are really cute ones…

  42. Minkowsky Avatar

    The fact that the blogosphere is over-crowded with “females” can be attributed to the attention they get from both the male n the female readers..
    ( Its not that hard to imagine why Men read Women’s blogs. 😉 .. )

    So I am not surprised by what you have written here ( I too had thought about it).. Anywayz nice post and loved reading it.. 🙂
    Ashok: “Females seek attention from males” is a common fantasy men like to indulge in, and over the millennia, they have continued to contrive fallacious theories of female behavior with little or no empirical data. What’s more, such a blanket reasoning is pretty offensive to women. It’s a milder form of the same logic that some men like to use to say that rape victims enjoy the experience 🙂 I don’t mean to be rude with that particularly nasty comparison, but I had to say that. In any case, how did you arrive at your conclusion?

  43. Vijay Avatar

    One of your best.
    I have a minor quibble though.
    I object to the paltry 3% waiting for Windows Vista to boot up. I think your stats are biased. It ought to be a much higher percentage.

  44. V Avatar

    Hilarious post as usual..

    “Broads cast yourself”…. :))

    Do women really dominate blogosphere? Are they all really women? What would the statistics of men masquerading as women be?

  45. […] alarmed at the increasing dominance of women in the Web 2.0 world and throws around ideas — written in the form of a fictional conversation — to help reclaim what’s rightfully the domain of men. VV: Sad. What happened to those […]

  46. anantha Avatar

    And fanbase is predominanly Almonard

    And endgagee!!!!!!!!!

    Hilarious as usual!

    “Females seek attention from males” is a common fantasy men like to indulge in, and over the millennia, they have continued to contrive fallacious theories of female behavior with little or no empirical data.

    Yes! It all starts with a “machi, ava enna inniki paatha da” in the 9th standard 😉

  47. bhatnaturally Avatar

    Great post! ‘Waiting for Vista to boot up’ can lead to Windoze.

  48. santacraze Avatar

    No doubt,
    “Near ‘pun mow lee’ pool lover”
    and looking forward for your custom
    made oxymoron.

  49. santacraze Avatar

    No doubt,
    “Near ‘pun mow lee’ pool lover”
    and looking forward for your custom
    made oxymorons.

  50. aandthirtyeights Avatar

    Also, Chickinfo, Hotmail, Pon-gle, CheeTalk…

  51. black coffee Avatar

    hilarious that was!!!

    i especially loved the pie chart thingy!

  52. Nikhil Narayanan Avatar

    First timer here!
    Supar Funny!

    PS: Will you get me a job, if I’m caught laughing aloud reading your blog 😉

  53. CruciFire Avatar

    Haha, nice one… being a southie and techie and a MALE.. i am totally for all-male Web 2.0….

  54. Chenoa Avatar

    Looved the pie chart! 😀

  55. srinivasan Avatar

    it is funny,

    we are taliking about the small elite group; but there are still lot of people in India living outside of surffing.

    Any how it is funny and tension reliver

  56. […] doing.Krish Ashok has given a very creative depiction of Anonymous Profiles on the internet here.People tend to DOCTOR the internet content, like in Wikipedia , by the corporates and some […]

  57. mmsblog Avatar

    OH MY GOSH!!!..
    Sirithen sirithen diaphragm kizhiyum varai sirithen…
    Rasithen Rasithen limitless brilliance ai rasithen..
    more please…

  58. Bhargavi Avatar

    I suggest your name be changed from krish ashok to KRISH HUMOR ASHOK

    super post anna 🙂

  59. K.Ramachandran Avatar

    Since you are serious abt feminism, here is a debate on this topic:

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