Iyer Vs Iyengar

Azhwarkadiyan Nambi and Eesaana Bhattar presumably had descendants. And perhaps they lived in the New Thanjavur Sector of the Pegasus Beta Settlement, and perhaps they went to the same school, and played on the same zero-gravity slide. Perhaps both grew up to be cyberpriests on interstellar spaceships. Perhaps they chilled out at the Galactic Spaceport bar. Wonder what sort of “I am better than you” arguments they had.

EB Jr: Iyers are better

AN Jr: No, Iyengars are better

EB Jr: Iyer sounds like Higher and that’s why we are better

AN Jr: Iyer sounds like Air and that’s exactly what you are full of.

EB Jr: We fly high like Iyerplanes while you still travel using yesterday’s IyenCars

AN Jr: At least we travel in Rolls Royce Iyencars while you suffer from Deep Vein Thrombosis in Economy class Iyerplanes

EB Jr: Iyengar sounds like I-Anger, and that describes you guys pretty well

AN Jr: Iyer sounds like I-Err, and that describes you guys even better

EB Jr: We are also Smartha than you.

AN Jr: Of course you aren’t. How can you be when you follow the Odd Waiter philosophy?

EB Jr: Your naamam looks like a V with an I in between, and reminds me of vi, that useless editor

AN Jr: vi is the best editor in the world, and I can do a s/r/ngar before you can apply your vibhuti

EB Jr: You call yourselves Why Snow White? Ignorance is built into your name

AN Jr: You call yourselves Say White. Painting everything white smacks of a lack of creativity.

EB Jr: Your C-rap (Carnatic Rap) star R.E.A. Goody sucks. His voice should be used as an alternative energy source by carpenters sawing wood.

AN Jr: Your C-rap star MD (Mad Durai) Money sucks even more. He hardly raps words. He keeps pulling out his item girl assistant (Kalpana Swara) to distract the crowd with her gyrations.

And so on.