Iyer Vs Iyengar

Azhwarkadiyan Nambi and Eesaana Bhattar presumably had descendants. And perhaps they lived in the New Thanjavur Sector of the Pegasus Beta Settlement, and perhaps they went to the same school, and played on the same zero-gravity slide. Perhaps both grew up to be cyberpriests on interstellar spaceships. Perhaps they chilled out at the Galactic Spaceport bar. Wonder what sort of “I am better than you” arguments they had.

EB Jr: Iyers are better

AN Jr: No, Iyengars are better

EB Jr: Iyer sounds like Higher and that’s why we are better

AN Jr: Iyer sounds like Air and that’s exactly what you are full of.

EB Jr: We fly high like Iyerplanes while you still travel using yesterday’s IyenCars

AN Jr: At least we travel in Rolls Royce Iyencars while you suffer from Deep Vein Thrombosis in Economy class Iyerplanes

EB Jr: Iyengar sounds like I-Anger, and that describes you guys pretty well

AN Jr: Iyer sounds like I-Err, and that describes you guys even better

EB Jr: We are also Smartha than you.

AN Jr: Of course you aren’t. How can you be when you follow the Odd Waiter philosophy?

EB Jr: Your naamam looks like a V with an I in between, and reminds me of vi, that useless editor

AN Jr: vi is the best editor in the world, and I can do a s/r/ngar before you can apply your vibhuti

EB Jr: You call yourselves Why Snow White? Ignorance is built into your name

AN Jr: You call yourselves Say White. Painting everything white smacks of a lack of creativity.

EB Jr: Your C-rap (Carnatic Rap) star R.E.A. Goody sucks. His voice should be used as an alternative energy source by carpenters sawing wood.

AN Jr: Your C-rap star MD (Mad Durai) Money sucks even more. He hardly raps words. He keeps pulling out his item girl assistant (Kalpana Swara) to distract the crowd with her gyrations.

And so on.

146 Comments

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  1. Wow! Am I really the first to comment?!! “vi is the best editor in the world, and I can do a s/r/ngar before you can apply your vibhuti” helped fill up my laughter quota for the day! 😀

  2. The only thing more pathetic than an Iyer vs Iyengar fight would be a Vadakalai vs Thenkalai fight, but a Thanjavur vs Palakkad fight would give it close competition.

    1. C’mon… Thanjavur and Palakkad fight never existed in a larger level… I don’t know if Vadakalai and thengalai intermarriages happen, but TI and PI intermarriages do happen frequently… And PI and TI don’t have different Vibhoothi applying styles… 😉 😛

      1. You guys are way in the past. Marriages between Vadakalai and ThenKalai are common nowadays; even better, Iyer-Iyengar marriages are happening all over the place.
        Why Thanjavur vs. Palakkad? I would tell any Palakkad that they are the descendants of Thanjavur Brahmins, and so, where is the fight? History shows that Thanjavur Brahmins migrated to Kerala and settled in Palakkad.

        1. How about “vada desa vadamaal” (meaning north of the town Chidambaram) and then desa vdamal (Mayvaram, KMU, Thanjavur, etc). Vada desam are makku; then desam romba samathu.

  3. That opening riff was very similar to a set the Jon Stewart used to doabout Jesus, Moses and Mohammed. “They all grew up in the same neigheborhood, probably played pickup basketball together etc..” Nice iyerisation – or is it iyengarisation – Freeya vidu.

  4. Oh btw congratulations on linking a jewish stand up comic and Ponniyin Selvan. Only in the webspace!

  5. Am I behind the times, or is this the first example of TamBram SF?

    Although curious minds want to know – what were AN and EB quaffing at the Galactic adda while having this conversation? AN’s laced Sambaram to EB’s bootleg Rasam?

  6. haha, Romba kusumbu you have, but being a proud mercedes benz iyen-car myself, I need to tell you that there’s a U namam variant as well. V is thengalai, U is vadagalai. Hence giving us various styling options and thus making us superior.

    😀
    Ashok: Oho. VI and UI

  7. ROFLOL.. “I can do a s/r/ngar” was tooooooo good.. Though for a moment wondered what srinagar had to do here! 😀 been a long time since i worked on vi..

    And the whole post oozed with extreme creativity!!! Ukkaandhu yosichaa kooda ivlo laam thonuma?!

    And Lavanya.. UI styling options is an interesting addendum 😀

  8. That is a great one, but you forgot the most obvious one.. Of how Ire tends to triumph over Anger:)
    Wasn’t it in the same Nambi vs Bhattar episode that someone spake: Ariyum Sivamum onnu, idha ariyadhavan vayila mannu?
    Basically, we Iyers are better because we think the client and the server are one, while the namams simply don’t get it. I mean, in a connected world of P2P, B2B, C2C, what is B2C? It is all the same Net brahmam.

  9. 1. The travails of T. N. Seshan illustrate the truth of the old saying, the iyer they are, the harder they fall.
    2. A peeping tom was arrested today. His defense was that he wanted to see the changing of the iyengaard.

  10. A small but influential community of tamil Brahmins has been agitating for a separate homeland, on the lines of Khalistan and Bodolan. However, their movement is said to have suffered a setback when it came to light that the name “Republic of Iyerland” has already been taken in the UN.

  11. VI Editor is ….V shaped Namum is good.

    Surprised to see No “Graphics” work as you have done for previous blogs like ..Kaka kronicles,Newtonian theories etc etc.

  12. I vs I: Divided we fall?
    Ashok: No no. Divided we get quotient and remainder, quotient being iyer and remainder being iyengar, or wait. Is it the other way around?

  13. <>

    That was vanthiyathevan, in the azhwarkadiyan intro scene (where he is threatening to bash a saivite and an advaitins head in, before a crowd..)

    Now all we need is pangalactic gargleblaster (or jinnantonyx) equivalents for the iyers and iyengars

    It will probably involve just how much percentage of plantation A, “beaberry” and chicory should go into their morning coffee ..
    Ashok: Ah yes. Perhaps the Amaklamatic Filterblaster

  14. sooper stuff…U are raising the bar one step higher each time..Kalakkals..

    reply to maami’s comment was too good…

  15. Enjoy reading this blog, but posting a comment for the first time.

    This topic actually takes me back a long time almost 18-20 years to a CBSE pallikudam in Mylapore where we had inter-class JAM sessions. For the uninitiated – JAM had nothing to do with the red color sticky stuff that was spread on your bread at the local Iyengar bakery (ooops IYENGAR bakery – pun not intended) – in JAM or Just-a-Minute sessions contestants had to speak non-stop for a minute on a topic with pauses only to catch their breath with a whole set of rules and conditions attached. Anyway, what is important was the funniest session we had was on a topic – The iyer and iyer you go, the iyengar you become ! Almost all contestants were tambrams (given the mylapore pallikudam setting, the probability of that happening was definitely 0.99999999999999) and took off on one another. And btw, the judge who set the topic and had a lot of fun ruling on objections and factual errors was if my memory serves me right ………..an iyengar 😉

  16. What does a VI editor refer to…. ???

    Kindly enlighten
    Ashok: It’s the world’s greatest text editor. It is usually available on all UNIX-based systems

  17. Enjoying your blog so much. Adding it to my Goggle ( I goggle at the posts every day) reader.

    Mamta Naidu quoted from your leeches with icecream post on my blog, that’s how I came along to visit you.

    I am a tambram living in Bangalore and hope you also have a Blr-Chennai-which-is-better fight posted soon! “Chennai people are so cultured ya!” “But with that weather, they stink!” ..and so on.

  18. Hilarious stuff. But please explain “and I can do a s/r/ngar before you can apply your vibhuti”. I am an iyen-car btw but cant get that 😦
    Ashok: It’s a regular expression for converting Iyer to Iyengar. It stands for substitute “r” with “ngar”.

  19. you had to bring a ghost from the past (vi). How many folks used it or even know what it is 🙂

    Hilarious as usual! vetti velai ithaana? super puns!

  20. Hilarious! I did’nt find any reference to Iyer-mess though. Keep it going looking forward to a Thenkalai Vs Vadakalai !

  21. oh on a diff note…the news on “Darth Vader”attack on a “Jedi Church” in Wales…ahahaha…reminded me of your Darth Vaadhiar..:D

  22. Hahahaha…ROFL 🙂
    The Iyengaran took a veiled threat by calling him a slow motion crawler, since he took I-YEARS to perform a particular task. The Iyer responded with a sarcastic “Look, who’s talking? After all you are an I-EON-gar!!!!!”

    Superb post 🙂

  23. Speaking of Iyers .. here’s this little vignette of 1960s Matunga – the Mylapore of Bombay (that is, throw a brick anywhere in there and you’ll hit a iyer). Talking about Sengalipuram Anantharama Dikshitar, the discourse / katha kalakshepam guy

    http://www.keralaiyers.com/mm1.html

    “Anantha Rama Dikshitar’s love for scholarship was matched by his avarice for money. He would accept lunch assignments and walk away with fabulous trophies. During discourse he would indicate his achievements so as to get further invitations. Sometimes he would stoop to incredibly low levels. One instance will suffice. He had gone one day for lunch at the house of a Sankaranarayana Iyer who was a bigwig in a company manufacturing Purgolax- the Dikshitar stated that he was feted by Sankaranarayana Iyer whose product Purgolax– a laxative-works as fast as “Rama Bana”. As cruel and cheap a comparison to divine arrows of Rama as possible.”

    and another story .. heard this third or fourth hand from an elderly relative, I think. Another uniquely Iyer ad for Purgolax. Dikshitar said in one of his discourses, sponsored by the Purgolax Iyer, that whenever he says the word “Bhargo” in the Gayatri Mantra, he gets reminded of the generosity of the Purgo lax company.

    1. Once at Mumbai Anantha Rama Dikshithar had a fever and the Dr Gopalachari (of Matunga) treated him with a Jab (injection) and it is said milk was oozing instead of BLOOD from the needle poke. (Needless to say that Dikshithar was periodically ADDICTED to drinking hot milk COVERING his face in front of the audience at ASTHIKA SAMAJAM!!!!

      1. The blog is not in good taste.I do not remember any Dr Gopalachari.Yet what is to be remembered the mention is coming after a gap of nearly 40 years after the demise of Shri Dikshitar.Let us acknowledge his contribution to the particular section of the brahmin/and others who is to throng to listen to his upanyasams.We have a large percentage of people today who do not of any knowledge of our ancient epics and scriptures and who feel proud about their ignorance.
        When the throat gets dried while giving a discourse is there anything improper in taking milk every now and then.

    2. Mr Ramasubramanyam’s blog is without truth.He says something which is hearsay and coming after almost 40 years after Shri Dikshitars siddhi.Using “Guy” to refer to Shri Dikshitar drives home the inference that the blogger lacks basic politeness in addressing people of scholarship.What was the age of the blogger when Shri Dikshitar attained siddhi and how many upanyasams the blogger had attended.

      1. I am quoting from a website which is linked to in my previous blog post – which seems to have been written by a contemporary of dikshitar.

        After that the stories such as those are merely human failings which any person can have

        They in no way detract from the scholarship of sengalipuram anantharama dikshitar, or his sonorous delivery of narayaneeyam etc.

        1. Hey Ramasubbu

          Are you the same guy who never to got to f*** because every girl refused you?
          I read it in a blog.
          Of course, Ramasubbu is a great guy who does blah blahblah..

          By the way I read about you in a blog …

  24. /* It’s the world’s greatest text editor. It is usually available on all UNIX-based systems */

    enna saar. ungalukku emacs mela enna kovam?
    Ashok: Adhu separate debate 🙂 Iyer/Iyengar matteroda kalakka vendaam

  25. Hilarious. There’s tons more where that came from I am sure. I, Iyer, Iyengar and the rest! “AvaaL ellam nambadavaa illayo!”

    I wonder where this puts the Iyerangar (or should it be “Iyengarer” :D) crossbreeds, like one of my friends is!

    ROFLMAO at Burgolax!! “Two bathroom poinde irukkan… edho burgolax sattuttaya pa?”

    The “ngar” bit was hilarious.

    Bottom line is Tam brahms rock in general.

    Put fundaes on carnatic music sometime – apart from the Chembai Darth Vader stuff. How about Voleti Won Kenobi? 😀

  26. This simply has to be the best geeky yet God Level discussion. The vi editor simply takes the cake. I wonder why you havent yet applied for the Nobel in literature ? at least, the Ig Nobel would definitely honour you (if they honour literature i.e.) . Just made my day.

  27. This is really HILARIOUS!!!

    By the way, I read somewhere that Man includes WOMan….and on the same lines do we say that Iyer includes IyeNGAr?

  28. Good 1 man , yet these folks are all polyglot mixed breed nwo with the afros , as they walked all the way from Israel they had changed breeds as well………

  29. Hilarious stuff…
    “All men are equal including even Iyengars!”
    I know dude…Coz we Iyengars are close to godlike unlike these run of the mill eye-errs 🙂

    Basically 3 clans of tamil brahmins
    Vadagalai, thengalai and echakalai (also known as eye-errs ..:))

  30. This just reminds me of an anecdote narrated to us, when in school, by this mathematician named alladi krishnaswamy. It goes something like this-

    He had apparently invited a bulgarian mathemetician of renown, i think it was erdos not sure though, to madras. And so he made a short sojourn at madras en route to some other place. And while here, after watching the people of madras go about their activities and stuff, he composed a short poem –

    Madras is a place full of iyers and iynegars
    Where iyers speak only to iyengars
    And iyengars speak only to gods.

  31. Lemme guess, you are either the Iyer or Iyengar married to the opposite. I’ve been itching to vent my feelings on bapinism for long. A brahmin(Niyogi) married to a brahmin(Vaidiki) but much to the chargin of my parents I married way below my sub-caste and I thought they’d flip if I married a sardar.

    Ur blog rocks dude… U are abundantly bestowed with the sarcasm reserved specific to the brahmin breed.

  32. Did you hear about the Iyengar who went for Iyer studies ? :)..
    Does the child of an Iyengar-Iyer marriage become a christian?

    Having married an Iyengar, your Iyer Vs Iyengar blog strikes a familiar chord..

  33. Hilarious post…..

    Being an engineer, I came up with this one a long time back and now I have an opprotunity to share it with ya.

    Disclaimer: you gotto know what a fourier transform is to understand this.

    The relation between iyers and iyengars is that one (iyers = vibuthi = horizontal line = constant function) is the Fourier transform of the other (iyengar = naamam = vertical line = dirac delta function).

  34. Unrelated to the story, but Sehwag’s #tampunk name can only be Veerasamy Sehwaga Chettiar (RT Santhana Bharathi’s path-breaking role in Mumbai Xpress, topped only Gunaa villain in his magnum opus performance as Mr. Sexena)

  35. I stumbled upon this blog on this iyer/iyengar duel,at the same time i came across a matri website that promotes unity between Iyers and Iyengards and an exclusive site for these two communities, thought this might help few out here:)

    http://www.iimatriseva.com

    Horizontal vs vertical comment is awesome!

    Thanks
    Aravinthan.

  36. the vi was hilarious! and also iyers are racists “Say Whites”! Iyengars are against racism! Why Snow white? (they question why “Snow white” was white…)

  37. A GREAT FRIEND (?) forwarded this site link today and I took timeoff to go thru the ENTIRE blogs.
    Wow I never knew we can WASTE precious time on such frivolous TOPIC.

  38. Both are same it all changed somewere in 17th century we all are bramhins. thats it. some practises change that too minor diffarance.

  39. Really Funny,I happen to be of Iyengar Ancestry and seriously enjoyed reading this.Nothing amuses me more than these Iyer-Iyengar Fights.

  40. Ashok, you’ve missed one point… Even Iyer Iyengar poonal differs… Iyers’ are thinner than Iyengars’… No offence to any merc benz iyengars (thanks lavanya for the term 😛 ), their poonal would look and feel like you’re wearing some lanyard… 😛

    1. @mccbala
      May I please know as to what you know of Poonal ? Does not these sound a cheap humor ?
      Wish that better wisdom and better levels of decency prevail on you GUYS.

      1. Sir,

        Having studied vEdam for more than a year, I guess it is safe for me to say that I have learnt the sanctity and values of poonal to a certain extent… I also happen to know that it isn’t a crime to see humour in most things in our life and when that humour is portrayed without ridiculing a single human, it should be enjoyed or ignored… Right interpretation depends on the reader’s outlook and perspective… Nevertheless, I firmly believe that there exists no form of indecency anywhere in here and also, no values were diminished from any of the sacred elements of our faiths that might have been mentioned in this post…

        Thank you for giving me a chance to explain myself… Sincere regards…

  41. Dear Krish
    This blog, to say the least ,is in bad taste. We expect better things of you instead of such cheap write ups

  42. இன்னிக்கி வடகலை தென்கலை கல்யாணம் காமன்
    ஆயிடுத்து ,ஐயர் ஐயங்காரும் கல்யாணம் இன்னும் ஈஸி.
    இல்லேன்னா பிராமணன் காணாம போய்டுவான் கொஞ்ச நாள்லே.
    சும்மா சொல்லக்கூடாது ,நன்னாவே படுத்தறேள் ,அழகா இருக்கு .

  43. We, brahmins, always maintain that Vedas are the supreme authority and our main goal should be to get liberated from the cycle of birth and death and attain Moksha. Do Vedas talk about Iyers, Iyengars etc. and do they say that we will not attain Moksha if we cease to call ourselves with these distinctions? I also understand that attaining of Moksha is irrelevant to smearing of Vibhudhi, Namams etc on on our forehead. When this is the case, how elders of our community give undue importance to these superficial things and insist and force the younger generation to follow them? Let these elders first understand the core meaning of the Vedas. practice them and guide the youngsters.

  44. This is exactly the place where even replying in English wud luk inferior/downmarket. And suddenly u start feeling y nt give a nice word(sentences, infact) of appreciation to this genius in Madras street language. Soooper machhan. Inda mardi blog naan padachade illai. (dont mind my Tamil, dude. Got corrupted beyond recognition living in the north) 🙂 ULTIMATE!!!!

  45. In the beginning it was only Iyers. Iyengars are an offshoot of Iyers practicing Vaishnavisim. Such narrow domesticated approach in their life made Iyengars lowly in front of the more broad looking outlook of the Iyers!!! So… why this big debate on that which is AXIOMATIC?

    1. Really, Hari Iyer? The mere fact that you jack yourself up on the branch as ‘broad looking’ makes you lower than lowly, dude! Well, I better not get down to your level; people who see wouldn’t distinguish between a fool and a rational guy.

  46. brahmins are stupidest people they have no political power as they are divided lot.& politicians like to make fun of hindu gods because hindu brahmins are divided

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