What the phoonk is Himesh doing?

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I was casually munching benana chips and dringing hot tea in Trivandrum this weekend when I finally realized why an Indian had not written the Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy. That question had been bothering me for a while now, and I had always wondered why it had to be a tall friend of David Gilmour who advised us all to not panic. The answer, it turns out, is rather simple. If an Indian had written the book, his publisher (presumably Sultan and Sons from Darya Ganj) would have altered the title to suit the Indian market, to The Hitchhikers’ Revised Guide and Reference to the Galaxy exam, with 2000 years question papers fully solved.

If our children have a few mosquitoes of creativity hovering around them, our schools, colleges and workplaces (especially IT) will jointly invest in a extra large size Tortoise coil to kill them. But anyway, this post is not an ill-informed rant on the woes of the Indian educational system and its single-minded purpose to root out creativity in kids. I’ll leave that to more serious minded folks.This is a generally meandering post about nothing in particular.

But talking of a dearth of creativity, another thing I did over this weekend was watch Ram Gopal Varma’s Phoonk. Yes, we all understand that close ups of household decorative items (such as laughing buddhas) shown with a backing score involving C-F# type jarring chords make for good horror, but we saw that in Zee Horror Show, back in the 90s. Nothing new there. For a change, I was even mildly engrossed at the prospect of science and rationalism trumping over kaala jaadu, bhoots and assorted horrorphernalia but Mr Varma let us down again, by reinforcing what the average Indian is already fully aware of – the ability of lemons, bones, neem leaf bunches and extra eye-liner to violate the laws of physics, and simultaneously render the knowledge of trained neurologists and psychiatrists completely useless. But I must congratulate him on having the guts to at least introduce a technically correct term for Multiple Personality Disorder to the mango-people, namely Dissociative Identity Disorder, a refreshing change from Bollywood’s age-old obsession with Schizophrenia, which frankly, I was getting bored of.

And oh, I saw this poster and I just cannot wait….to read Greatbong‘s review

The first thing that struck me like a super jhankar beat was the spelling of “Vengeance”. How on earth did it get past Mr Jumaani? Perhaps he, rather ironically, went to sleep after adding the extra zz to Karz. After Aap ka Surroor – the moviee, I expected a few more vowels to be recklessly grazing around. The second thing I noticed was the hair, or to be precise, the complete lack of cap. The third thing was of course theΒ  unplugged electric guitar, but that’s trivial.

I believe the original tagline was “Vengeance is back, can the ladies are far behind?”, but it was dropped when the Times of India threatened a lawsuit citing their proprietary ownership of all bad puns in this country.

I googled around for more posters, and I eventually found this

And the first question that came to my mind was not “Did Himesh steal Paul McCartney’s hair by going back in time to 1965?”. My first question was “What mega awesome chord is Himesh playing?”. It looks like a B-minor, but nah. A close up revealed that this was nothing as basic as a B-minor. I then wondered if this was simply yet another case of keeping up Bollywood’s rich tradition of Strangely Unplayable Mystery Guitar Chords. And a quick check at GuitarChordsMagic told me that my hunch was right.

Himesh was indeed keeping up a rich tradition that harks back to Amitabh’s Capo-with-pinky-on-fret-4 mystery chord,

and Zeenat Aman’s A-majorly-off-the-fretboard

So yeah. I can’t wait to watch Karzzz when it comes out at Satyam. I propose that we put together a heckle mob of “Madrasis” to go watch this and do general rousification. Talking of Madrasis, my friend Harish has invented a wonderful generic term for the stereotypical North Indian in Chennai. He calls them amit_123 and the standard cliches are

  • amit_123 is rude to waiters
  • amit_123 hates Chennai’s weather
  • amit_123 can’t tolerate the fact that nobody understands Hindi in Chennai
  • amit_123’s first criteria for a good actor is a six pack
  • And more. No wait. amit_123 prefers lassi

So yes, if you get called a Madrasi, you know how to respond now.

101 responses to “What the phoonk is Himesh doing?”

  1. Adithya Avatar

    Lol, electric guitar thing is something that Bollywood routinely misses out. All the time the hero would prance around place to place with the guitar hanging over him. Why watching Phoonk en al? Saw Rock On ? It should be having more fodder for such bloopers, right? Do check out and update, if possible!

  2. rajk Avatar

    Wow, I am the first…!!
    Hey, since you’ve brought up the “stringy” issue, don’t forget all the flute scenes in Hindi movies where the heroes daintily purse their lips to the flute with no effort whatsoever on moving their fingers….

  3. anantha Avatar

    amit_123!!! ROTFL! And pliss, can I be part of the said Madrasi crowd at Satyam. If needed, I will put jigna type shirt and get funk hair cut and make them believe i am one of them amit_123s.
    I could generally embarrass the already “embarrassed to silence” amit_123 crowd, by putting two fingers inside lips and whistling every time Himessssss bhaaai comes on screen!

  4. Rahul Avatar

    Maybe i missed the point completely, but isn’t ‘vengeance’ the correct spelling of the word?
    Ashok: It is, which is why I was surprised. The spelling wrecker in chief, Sanjay Jumaani seems to have missed this one. I thought he might add a few e’s here and there for numerological reasons

  5. sueibo Avatar

    Himesh’s hair in pic 2 looks like Cousin It from the Addams Family decided to curl up and have a snooze on his noggin..

  6. pri Avatar

    bwahahaha. i love amit_123. im going to start using it. i’ve overused ‘dalli’ anyway. and omg i cannot wait for karzzzzzzzzz to release. have you seen the trailor? urmila matondkar looks like a crazy person. her expressions are priceless. and the hair. omg the hair.

  7. Arunk Avatar

    I am amazed the guy can play the guitar with his knuckles. In the close it looks like two (or maybe three) of the strings are pressed using his knuckles.

    This also reminds me about the veena expertise of the (mostly yesteryear) actresses in kollywood – Simply move their hands up and down as if applying wax to strings, while the melody pretty much stays a limited portion of the raga.


  8. Rekha Avatar

    I missed this whole Himesh Reshammiya sensation. My knowledge of him is restricted to what I read on your and Maxdavinci’s blogs. I didn’t really like his music in Dasavatharam that much, but any amit_123 making music for such a southie movie might have made it like that. So please enlighten me, has his music ever been good?

  9. Vishwa Avatar

    I agree with Rahul. Initially I thought may be namma mulai thaan mazhingi poi Vengeance spelling correct nu solradhonu! But then I was wondering wots wrong with it? Btw do u plan to watch it at Satyam coz u r a Reshamiya fan or is it for nakkals?

  10. Vishwa Avatar

    But the movie Phoonk was ok. After reading about the response the movie got I thought it might be good. Ramu has just fooled arnd with Camera angles to try to inject some scare.

  11. Ravi Shankar Avatar

    “I propose that we put together a heckle mob of β€œMadrasis” to go watch this and do general rousification.”

    I thought this ritual was reserved exclusively for Vijay and Vijaykanth movies.

  12. Thaths Avatar

    You, sir, had to drag poor little Zenny baby into this. Don’t you know she can damn well play the guitar – fret, off-fret or pomfret – any way she damn well pleases with a figurru like she used to have?

  13. Dinesh Babu Avatar

    is Karz enakkul oruvan? Can’t remember. LOL at the Chords. I can excuse Big B and Zeenat for not being known to be musicians, but Himes is one and am surprised to see he couldn’t pull a simple A-Major or C-Major on the pose. Perhaps his hair was blinding his left hand fingers.

  14. ART Avatar

    you are darn funny!!! Felt apidiye chennai while reading this…

    btw…r u from tiruchy side?
    Nope. Born in Chennai, lived in Bangalore, Mumbai and Delhi before realizing my folly πŸ™‚ My parents have roots in Tirunelveli and Trichy respectively, but since I’ve never lived there, I consider Chennai to be my native

  15. vijay Avatar

    Aren’t you making an assumption about the guitars’ tunings?
    Ashok: Come to think of it, yes. But I don’t expect Bollywood music directors to be using drop-D

  16. Kris Bass Avatar


    The chords, hairdo and amit_123!

    Hey, by the way – I did a non-satirical run-down on Rock On on my blog. You might want to check it out.

    And the guitar stuff is pretty decent in that. Excepting one scene in which Arjun Rampal (the guitar virtuoso in all of Sion(E) watches his fingers carefully for 3 secondss before they form into a C-major chord!

  17. philramble Avatar

    Dude, I want you to do a take on Rajni’s guitar chords in that godawful song sequence in Sivaji. Or even Saif Ali Khan in that silly recent ad.

    Other Hindi Urban Idiot quips/cliches I recollect, about Madrasis:

    1. Aap kya idli-dosa hi har roz banake khate hain kya?
    2. Bhimsen Joshi and Balamurali Krishna together in youtube. See how better Bhimsen Joshi! (the guy knows nothing about either Carnatic or Hindustani)
    3. Ey, you are vairy fair for a tamilian, man
    4. Tamil is derived from samskrut, na?
    5. Nobody wants to settal in “Chenaai”, even “Chenaai” people (sic *3)
    6. Tamil log nariyal bahut khate hain na?

    Some of them are fricking jackasses at times.

  18. Chittaranjan Avatar

    LOLWORTHY as usual!

    Re: “Dissociative Identity Disorder” usage in Bollywood, Movies such as Deewangee & Bhool Bhulaiyaa used the word instead of the more mundane ‘split personality’ or ‘multiple personality disorder’ IIRC.
    In fact, one can find eerie similarities in the lady doctors who diagnosed it in Deewangee & Phoonk – Seema Biswas & Lilette Dubey πŸ˜€

    Coming to Himesh, he had to show the country why his name has ‘Reshammiya’ innit by displaying those Reshammi tresses. give the dude a break!

  19. Laksh Avatar

    ROFL πŸ™‚ amit_123 was simbly sooper. Gotta remember this.

  20. sangu Avatar

    “Vengeance is back. Can the ladies are far behind?” πŸ˜€
    super (sollave thevayille). u sure about times now suing him? i myself think ibnlive will beat them to it.

    and maybe himesh showing his thalamudi (or wig) to women has the same effect as rambha showing her thighs to men. risque stuff all this.

  21. buddy Avatar

    u researched cords from bollywood posters..wow!

  22. Dilip Muralidaran Avatar

    thank you. amit_123 it will be!

  23. cntrlaltdel Avatar

    Damn! Wish i could join the madrasis at satyam!
    yenjaai pa… on my begaaf also.

    make sure to do super early advance booking so that amit_123 or any mutant isn’t sitting behind you

  24. Sandesh Avatar

    I heard Ram Gopal Verma was offering 5lacs, I wonder what made him make such a statement, I think it was a very bad remake of a famous Hollywood flick.

    And talking about Strangely Unplayable Mystery Chords, what about Daffli, Flute, Violen, Mouth-Organ ……. The list goes on and on ….

  25. chennai-kari Avatar

    We have similar roots…
    my moms from trichy and dads from tirunelveli..and i was born in trichy but went to the amit_123 land for 8 years..and lived in chennai for only a year in between..
    then i came back to chennai when i was in 9th standard..and i call it my home..because no other city kicks butt like chennai! πŸ™‚
    I hope there is no rule that you have to be born, parents have to be “From” there et al. to call a city home..what the heck, i know chennai welcomes me
    totally away from the point of your post right! πŸ™‚

  26. priya Avatar

    i think cool_amit is more appropriate. or maybe amit_just4u
    Ashok: LOL. You are right, but I think cool_amit (flirtatious, bon-vivant raconteur types) and amit_just4u (Orkut stalker types) are subspecies, no wait, I have a better term, “subversions” of the core amit_123 pattern. A few more I can think of are coolamit1985 and amit_cooldude (slightly advanced version of cool_amit). I think we need to create an Uncyclopedia entry for amit_123

  27. colinlaidlaw Avatar

    Phoonk has to be the most complete and utter rubbish I have seen in my life. Fortunately, being English I did not understand a word and instead could focus on the repetitive reference to the Omen, so what was that crow doing…erm nothing. The shot of the car going around the same corner. The various, repetitive…”oh…I’m in a dream” scenarios. The poor attempt to replicate the Exorcist. Lots of statues and totems to dieties, that do nothing. First rule of good horror suspense, suspense, suspense.Using shock is the sign of an inexperienced director. Ram Gopal Verma make a film like this again and I will personally find you an kill you with a pointy stick. There is suspense for you.
    Ashok: You are absolutely right. Leaving aside the Exorcist and Omen influences, Indians would have noticed even more references from a 1990s B-grade horror show on Zee TV called, well, The Zee Horror Show, with its almost tribute like references to Tantric rituals, Black magic and bad makeup.

  28. Labakku Das Avatar
    Labakku Das

    Awesome esp the amit_123.Me from IITM and the place obvly has infi amit_123s and Naidu garus with a few vibhuti-naamam interspersed . so, I have a proper exposure πŸ˜›

  29. V Avatar

    What, you missed namma Kamal’s one-note concerto and the flying guitar? Travesty! Look at the concentration! – http://tinyurl.com/5v5f6x
    Ashok: But V, Kamal is doing a bluesy singly note tremolo/vibrato type effect on G# ;). That’s why the concentration. Look at BB King, and you’ll know where Kamal is coming from. Of course, the real travesty is that he is acting to Himesh Reshammiya’s music.

  30. maami Avatar

    I’m heartbroken KA! You have omitted the talent of bearded badshah T Rajendar playing drums!
    Indha vangikka dongu
    Naan kaarthale sapiten nongu
    Kudukamaten unakku oru pingu
    Drums adikiradule naan kingu!

  31. Labakku Das Avatar
    Labakku Das

    Oh btw, Tortoise , I am inclined to think, just drives away mosquitoes and not kill πŸ˜›

  32. Ziah Avatar

    Hahahaha… first time here, loved it. πŸ™‚

    @Karzzzz…. zzzz… my sentiments exactly. πŸ™‚ Besides, “Monty” used to be associated with something sexy.. until it became a Himess character. Doggone world! 😦

  33. mandar Avatar

    nice post … πŸ™‚

  34. vindicated!! Avatar

    About the vindicated bit…my bitter-half gets called a name I’ll not write-about in public but the amit_123 has his punching the air in victory!

    And speaking of the I-play-every-instrument-but-not-really Bollywood actors…they’re entire ensembles onto themselves!

    Loved your post…will watch Mr.Hair-Disaster-Without-Cap and throw murrukus at screen for sure!

    Cheers πŸ™‚

  35. Bikerdude Avatar

    My favourite guitar scene was whatsisname slinging a guitar over his shoulder and walking into the sea singing :Ghar se nikalte hi…”

    Full heart jumped into mouth wondering what would happen to the poor thing if the sea water hit it.

    Just came back from watching Rock with a theatre full of amit_123s at their obnoxious best. Fun times.

  36. Nandini Avatar

    LOL Amit_123!!

    I do not want to rake up the past here πŸ˜‰ Amit_123 also likes waxed eyebrows aah?

  37. shyam Avatar

    I must protest here… if you were dringing hot tea, you must have been munjing on benana chips – NOT munching! Dont you think so?

  38. Sheba Kunhimohammed Avatar

    amit_123..ha ha..
    that’s a good one after all the yumm for mango, rasam licker.. mallu jokes i have had to tolerate!

  39. Vinod Avatar

    The amit_123 part was brilliant!

    We have that species crowding Bengaluru too…

  40. Anu Avatar

    First of all, Hitchhikers can never be made into a indian movie, because the concept of humans being not the most intelligent of creatures, is a blasphemy, inspite of movies like Karzzz being made. Second, I loved the concept of amit_123.. you are soo right, but didnt you forget the part where he says that tamilians kill hindi language, while saying nandri like an elephant snorted..

  41. Dinesh Babu Avatar

    Anu, If Hitchhikers was made in Tamil, it will be made by Ramanarayanan since he will be the only one who can bring in Dolphins and Mouse and make them do special stunts. Oh, the Dolphins will walk with Arthur Dent, on land!

  42. Teesu Avatar

    Very nice one.LOL the hairdo and the amazing display of music — chords and all. Also, amit_123 is super. SO true. And SO irritating. I am all for Hindi, national language and all that, but it’s the amit_123’s attitude that needs to be fazzzzed;)

  43. Dinesh Babu Avatar

    Maami – Tharcheyala saw your comment. Too good πŸ™‚

  44. Suresh Ramasubramanian Avatar

    If the guy really wanted to play with two fingers he could have seen some old Django Rheinhart clips .. or Dickie Betts playing “Jessica” – he did that two fingered playing thing as well, as a tribute to Django.

    Check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wufCkIla_ic and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaBm4ej-1vg

  45. eyefry Avatar

    Not only do the Bollywood guitar gods play impossible chords, they seem to have perfected and even transcended the Wes Montgomery technique of finger picking — always the thumb, and always in upstroke, resulting in magical approximations of the sound of everything from violins to bassoons. It’s incredible, really.

  46. Jaya Avatar

    lol….that was fun, and amit_123 was too much!! now i know how to take vengeAnce on all those ppl against madrasis πŸ˜€
    and yeah…you shouldnt miss ‘rock on’

  47. wanderlust Avatar

    all my frustrations of this morning seem to find their channel in amit_123…. paavigaL rejected the godawesome chinese food offered during training and asked for rubber rotis!

  48. Anish Avatar

    Satyam has that RDX sound technology. Do you really want to see a Himmesh movie there!
    You’ll be tearing your hair out, not doing general rousification!

  49. […] Krishna Ashok observes here, the Times of India is the sole proprietary owner of all bad puns in this country […]

  50. Zahra Avatar

    Hilarious!!!! πŸ˜€

    Couldn’t bring myself to watch even 2 seconds of the Karzzz trailer…Himess bhai is one kind of trauma I wouldn’t wish on anybody. Come to think of it, the ‘Zzzz’ addition may not be totally off the mark either.

    ‘amit_123’ is purrrfect..hats off to you!! Been plagued by whiney Dilli-kaari’s for some time now…one thing you’ve forgotten is “Chyeennai mein McDonald’s nahin haiiii..” πŸ˜€ Believe me, I actually got that as one of the many reasons why our ‘naarthie’ cousins can’t live in Chennai…
    Am totally inspired to have an all-out “Idli-sambar bashes rajma-chawal” session on my blog now!

  51. DesiGirl Avatar

    I am liking the amit_123 concept. Tired of the derogatory “madrasi” tag. now tell me where I can put film and do some amit_123 bashing?

  52. maxdavinci Avatar

    himeshwarji maharaj is god!
    I wonder why our friends HMK don’t have a problem with his cleavage show!

    It appears to me as if they stole the wig from a chinese teen flick. The boys generally sport skied hair, so it’s gotta be a girls!

    ROFL on the guitar image!

  53. Kavitha Avatar

    ROFL…amit_123. How about Amit_M? It’s mostly a Mehra, Mehta, Malhotra, Mahajan…….

    HR’s name is Monty in Karz, one hopes he doesn’t get ideas to do a full monty. πŸ˜›

  54. sachita Avatar

    aiyoo, amit_123 doesn’t pack punch like madrasi, i feel, how about munna, pappu & the likes?
    pan parag , i hear is already used.

    Himesh is like Bush, comedy world cannot do without them.

  55. scudie Avatar

    saar, i am reddy! some rousu to put the amit_123’s of the world into their place is much needed..

  56. Blogeswari Avatar

    Amit_123 ! lol lol! You should do one number post for the Sweety16, PinkyHrithik , Iluvimran kinda chat names of these country N.Indians!

  57. Sooper Tam Avatar

    @philramble : amit_123s do not comprehend the concept of tamils, let alone 4 separate south Indian states.

    “Down south” is filled with “madrasis” who speak Mallu.

    I remember after I came to Ahmedabad, I used to wonder if MY English was messed up….EVERYONE here says “my hairs, they are curly” or something like that. eek.

  58. […] Krish Ashok’s work on Bollywood’s fine tradition of Unplayable Guitar Chords to find more gems like mango-people Out of the 58 (till date) commenters on that post, […]

  59. Subashini Avatar

    Funny one! I laughed a lot coz of the post, and laughed even more for Maami’s ’emulation’ of TR dialogues… Maami is the best!..

  60. Baidik Avatar

    “proprietary ownership of all bad puns in this country ” – Sooper!

    And amit_123 deserves an entire post by it self – replete with his life cycle – first visit to chennai, searching for north indian food joints, making fraands/frendz with the locals and the works.

    Dont understand ‘notes/chords’ but it’ll be interesting to hear your take on Arjun Rampal the guitarist ..

  61. Just a girl Avatar


    been lurking here for a couple of months now..love your blog!

  62. Sri Avatar

    when u r called madrasi just call him/her bihari…they would stop calling u madrasi..

  63. Siddharth Avatar

    Apparently, Himesh sent an SMS to RGV saying: “Aag has been Phoonked”

    Karzzzzz^n would make a good name for a movie based on troubled mortgage borrowers in US.

  64. prats Avatar

    This is fantastic…..I remember the electric guitar and Mithun getting electricuted…full blue streaks and hair standing and all…and of course the air chords more than fingers strumming….

  65. sthitapragnya Avatar

    ROFL @ “Zeenat Aman’s A-majorly-off-the-fretboard”. True, all Bollywood actors are excellent non-guitar players!! South Indian actors, esp. Telugu actors and actresses are louwelee Veena players. They cry, sing, play (without even strumming the strings!) and impress god or significant other, all at the same time!
    Now, a new fad among many amit_123s is, saying “Yenna raascalaa! Mind it!” – Such useless people, I tell you!
    Finally, ask a Telugu person what “Phoonk” means without the ‘n’. And then try saying ‘Ram Gopal Varma’s ‘P***”!! πŸ˜€ Trust me, you should!!

  66. anjana Avatar

    speaking of newly created chords by bollywood… arjun rampal in ‘rock on’ can’t even fool schoolkids. too bad for a movie that has the lead doing his own playback singing for authenticity!

  67. Kartik Avatar

    Let’s not forget one of the pioneers of unique guitar chords – Jitendra with his J-Dimented !! I think he is unquestionably the act that started it all !!

  68. tys Avatar

    Must be the carry over from the english movie ‘ no country for old men’…suddenly bad hairstyle is in fashion….damn, i wish i had any hair left to make my terminator hairstyle that i sported for 15 years, back in vogue

  69. Ana Avatar

    From where do you get such ideas ? !! I find your blog a great stress reliever. pls do not stop..

  70. Aishwarya Avatar

    I have been blog-hopping an awful lot the past couple of days and I realised why I was getting so addicted. Its one of those aspirational things I guess. To gape in awe when people string words together ever so beautifully, and you are left wondering β€œHow the hell??!!” and perhaps followed by a defeated β€œDamn!”. But I spring back to normalcy by telling myself that my skills at singing might do the same to someone..or so I hope πŸ™‚ So here’s the deal. I leave you guys to do what you do best and shall offer my services in promoting these blogs and dutifully drop my comments at every post. In return, you can come attend the next concert or rock gig πŸ™‚
    Off I go and drop this comment at my other blog crushes..

  71. poisonpenn Avatar

    amit_123! LOL! And how about amti_123 wonders how we can eat “chaval” and “dahi” all the time?

  72. sandeip Avatar

    thinking….to comment or not to comment…finally decided to,even tho AM from amit_123 land, though not,sorry to disappoint, a coolamitjust4u or whatever you have…but yeah…i liked the typology πŸ˜€


  73. Thanatos Avatar

    Dear Sir,

    With all due respect I would like to report my resentment with the fact that no one is here to fight for Northie rights. As much as amit_123 hates “Madrasi weather”, he likes defending his friends hello_raj and pinkyjain with clever insinuations and descriptions of incestuous relationships.

    Please encourage more participation from these lovable tykes so that the spirit of discussion may be furthered.

    Thanking you,

  74. Balaji Avatar

    Any comments and Sivaji and AVM Rajan playing Nadaswaram in Tillana Moganambal ?

    Ashok: Well. The nadaswaram playing isn’t too great, but interestingly enough, the percussion actors are doing a pretty decent job

  75. troll Avatar

    how about south indian “hai da” gay freaks on orkut…I’d name them sureshbabu_4_u or maybe telugu idiots who would think any civilized conversation starts and ends with “raaa”

    you people suck, so please die….laugh all you can at your own foolishness and ignorance
    Welcome Mr. Troll, would you like some tea? Or Filter Kaapi perhaps πŸ™‚ Why are you so homophobic, I say? Gay people are not freaks

  76. troll Avatar

    lol at filter kaapi πŸ˜€
    gay freak = gay AND freak

    Anyways, maybe you made the comment in jest and good natured humor but obviously others finally found something to mask their ineptness and shortcomings
    Ashok: 1) Creating stereotypes is the great indian pastime, so I fail to see why amit_123 is any different from Madrasi or Bihari. I just think all of us need to laugh off stereotypes. In fact, Bollywood has almost 50 years of history in defining the highly limited-scope “Madrasi” caricature, from Mahmood to Mithun in Agnipath, this despite the fact that the 4 states of the south actually speak 4 different languages, while north of the vindhyas, it’s is pretty homogeneous when it comes to language. But I do not recall your sureshbabu_4_u type homosexual deviants requesting that amit_123s to vacuum clean and then proceed to give up their lives. Doing so would have suggested a total lack of a sense of humour, no?
    2) Using the descriptors “gay” and “freak” right next to each other even with the logical AND operator in between them does not remove the reek of homophobia, especially when you prefix “Hai da”, so I would still accuse you of homophobia. But in any case, “da” and “raa” are sort of like “bey” or “yaar”, so why is freakishness of the homosexual kind attributed to the “Hai da” sayers, while “Hi yaar” sayers are curiously absolved?

  77. troll Avatar

    what in this bad world is ‘Hai’?!
    According to Wiktionary, ‘Hai’ is a purposeful mispelling ‘Hi’ prevalent in Internet slang, and since Orkut qualifies as an “internet app”, ‘Hai’ is reasonably valid expression along with “wen, wid and NEwez”.

  78. troll Avatar

    And yeah, why don’t you link to a certain Times Now report on extreme gender prejudice in chennai colleges? Perhaps that’d showcase your civic senses better.
    “Tamil Naaad culture”. Wow. Planning a talibanization down south, eh?
    Ashok: Already done saar. More than six months ago, in fact. I also wrote about it in my Indian Express column. We may not have your “civic senses”, but we sure can laugh at ourselves, and once in a while, at others. Surely, that much leeway should be allowed no πŸ™‚

  79. troll Avatar

    Your talk is sensible, seriously. But not obviously of those who couldn’t hide their glee at amit_123, but yet none of them ever came up with something that imaginative. With the mention of that news report, I only tried to put forward the hypocrisy being perpetuated by such persons who conveniently forget the shit puddle they have created for themselves, are quite comfortable to live in without the need for protests yet are oblivious of all that to actually laugh at others. You don’t need to defend them.

  80. arjun Avatar

    amit_123 has a million strings around his wrist

    amit_123 has tight white pants, a belt with huge art in the front, gujju mango pattern shirt, and pinkish leather shoes

    amit_123 has center partition hair

    amit_123 adds yaar for every sentence

    amit_123 has himesh ring tones in his cell phone

    amit_123 puts khaini and gutka like 24/7

    amit_123 says “dose -aa” for “thosai”

    amit_123 drives a kinetic honda

    amit_123 complains about madrasis to you itself

    amit_123 in all probability has never seen a beach before arriving to south india

    amit_123 lives in some pg in kilpauk and makes plan to go to satyam, ega, melody every weekend

    amit_123 has to have chai and god forbid one offers coffee

    amit_123 has a brother called rahul

    amit_123 used like a girl in collge called neha or pooja or payal

    amit_123 came to know very recently that “karnatak”, “beng-lor”, “teerva-nant-pur”, “may-sore”, “coym-baat-ore” were not part of “madh-raas”

    amit-123 cant pronounce “ambaa-tore”, “velaaa-cherry”, “nangaa-nalore”, “koyaam- beddu”, “nungaam -pukkem” to save his life, let alone difficult names like perungulathur or ekaaduthaangal

    amit_123 can be seen in city center trying to see if any females will give a second look at him

    amit_123 complains that taamil females are chee… (little does he know that he looks like doodh peda sandwiched with some beeda)

    amit_123 forgets the crowd in UP Bihar and complains about the crowd in “survan stores” in t nagar

  81. Shalu Avatar

    One of the silent readers of your blog. But, I was watching a movie called “crossroads” the other night and was reminded of this blog. If you have not watched it, I would strongly recommend it for the music and time-pass story. Have a feeling you might like not just the music (guitar by Steve Vai and slide by Ry Cooder) but also how the lead actor actually “plays” guitar!

  82. GowrishankarTS Avatar

    This reminds me of the time when our captain was vigourously typing on his keyboard with single minded focus on finding International terrorists in Chennai using “computers”, only for the camera to rotate all the way around him(It took some time) and show us the wonderful image of windows media player playing the ending credits of some B movie.

    It also brought back not-so-fond memories of the time when I felt this gut wrenching pain as I saw Arjun Rampal play Basketball in one of his early movies. It made me ask some serious questions about the meaning of life and our purpose on earth.

  83. […] Talking of Lakshman-aka-Lucky, Ashok Krish (who does Jalpa, shows Jilpa and puts Gilma, and comes up with amaklamatic expressions like “Holy Mother of Mel Maruvaththur!” and “Holy Saint of Samayapuram!”) has a friend who’s come up with a new term for folks BITSians refer to as ChOMs (Chapati-oriented Monkeys. Their terminology, not mine) – read all about it here. […]

  84. wanderlust Avatar

    an amit_123 friend in south_indian_mess says “you southies put rice in everything….. look, even in curd today there is rice”.

  85. Oops Ziag Avatar

    This was one of the most interesting blogs I ever read. You are a great writer Krish. I never imagined somebody could go so deep into the poster. Ha ha…! Absolute wow!

  86. gauri Avatar

    roefle@vengeance πŸ˜‰

    I was looking for that Vinit guy (of Sa Re Ga Ma) somewhere next to him. Almost uncanny, no black cap no Vinit, can’t be Himes.


    PS: What would a partial lack of black cap be? 😐

  87. smitha Avatar

    Fantastic post! Just stumbled across your blog and have loved it so far!

  88. Harpreet Avatar

    Wowwwww.. just cant help coming back to your blog… Fantastic description of amit_123… just loved it..

    and to a few above… nothing is wrong in laughing at yourself once in a while…

  89. dwarak Avatar

    more amit_123 cliches:
    amit_123 thinks chennai”s night life sucks
    amit_123 is metrosexual
    amit_123 thinks he’s doing chennai a favour by staying here
    amit_123 doesnt watch tamil cinema because the heroines are fat

  90. dwarak Avatar

    one more!
    amit_123 waxes his chest hair!

  91. shiraaz Avatar

    Mr. Ashok, I never expected that you would write such a biased blog. Talking of himesh( I think, for his own good he shud quit acting and singing), Why forget T rajendran, Vijaykanth, Vijay(of the apadi podu fame), they havent been making world class cinema either. This is India, across the length and breadth of the country, there are masses who enjoy watching these silly stunts and nasal voiced stars. Like T Rajendran and his bunch do not solely define the tamil film industry, himesh isnt the sole representative of bollywood( in fact quite the contrary).

    I also feel that, the exaggeration and generalization of the antipathy of a few north indians towards SI, only leads to further alienation. India is a vast country, moving from one part to another and adjusting to the local culture, climate etc isnt always a fun thing. People complain when they move from delhi to chandigarh about how much better life was in good old delhi, I wouldnt take that as a anti-pubjabi or watever sentiment. Chennai ppl in bangalore have their share of complains…. I wudnt take that to be anything more than general whining, so characteristic of all Indians.

    Hostility breeds hostility. Minor differences arising due to the differences of culture, POV shud be taken with a pinch of salt… and not highlighted lest it leads to situation where Indians want to have a full on match between “amit_123s” and “madrasis”.

  92. […] girls ,who give back a venomous stare back at my group. I am now a part of the rocky khannas and amit_123s (see end of post)who hang out with these sophisticated chicks. I need my normalcy back. I need to […]

  93. satya_paul Avatar

    Good one!

    “i always uze to go iskool in riska”.

    bunglour madras mein hain naa?

    coromandel express is pasing through AP – the amit_123 asks me – which state is this? ( He tells me he was in bangalore for HAL interview)

    a parsi lady in DC suburbs: i am parsi. if i can speak hindi why can’t you? (as a principle – i don’t – but i don’t tell her that).

    in a desi joint in NJ: a bunch of amit_123s are having a good time at the expense of a telugu waiter. I don’t miss an opportunity to give it back – including the part abt hindi being national-whatever language.

  94. […] do people (rather, these amit123 types) not know the difference between the usage of ‘will’ and ‘would’? […]

  95. Geera Avatar

    Importantly, amit_123 loves dddosa and saaaamber from servaana bhaavan..

  96. B Avatar

    OMG, so funny and true ROFLMAO πŸ™‚

  97. funny friendship sms Avatar

    I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your website.
    It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for
    me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire
    out a developer to create your theme? Great work!

  98. friendship Avatar

    First off I would like to say terrific blog! I had a quick question in which I’d like to
    ask if you do not mind. I was curious to know how you center yourself and clear
    your mind before writing. I have had a hard time
    clearing my mind in getting my thoughts out there.

    I truly do take pleasure in writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are
    lost just trying to figure out how to begin.
    Any ideas or hints? Many thanks!

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