King Maha got bullied by a dwarf?

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Jalsa Raakshasi: It’s time to sleep, grandson

Jilpaasura: Tell me a story, grandma

JR: Do you want a happy story or a sad story?

JA: I’m bored of happy ones. Tell me a sad story

JR: Long ago, there lived a righteous king, a doyen of our clan, Mahabali, who ruled righteously over the land of Kerala. Everybody in the kingdom was happy because, for a change, there was no discrimination based on caste or class. But the gods couldn’t stand his popularity

JA: So what did they do?

JR: They sent a dwarf

JA: To fight Mahabali in a Quake Deathmatch?

JR: No. To ask Mahabali for a gift, knowing that the legendary king’s generosity will prevail over any sense of foreboding that the dwarf was up to no good

JA: So what did he do?

JR: He asked for land.

JA: To which I am sure, the great king laughed like our uncle Kumarimutthasura.

JR: He did, and he asked the dwarf to go ahead and take his 3 steps worth of land. The dwarf immediately did a View->Zoom->1600% and covered all of the earth and the skies in 2 steps and asked Mahabali where he could keep his third step.

JA: That’s not cricket, grandmom

JR: Yes. What to do? The gods were all amit_123s (see glossary for definition) and they didn’t like big-moustachioed Madrasi kings. So anyway, the great king offered his head as a resting place, and the dwarf took that chance to push the king into the middle of Bangalore traffic (also known as Paataala)

JA: Holy face paint of Shantakumaran Sreesanth, that is totally not cricket.

JR: Mahabali, despite these grievous insults, was still all humility, and asked the dwarf if he could have permission to visit Kerala once a year to meet his people.

JA: And?

JR: The people of Kerala celebrate his visit by doing flower rangoli (Pookkalam) and eating Asura sized meals (Sadhya).

JA: This is ridiculous. They should be mourning this gross injustice instead of celebrating some amit_123 god’s zoom-effects based chicanery. Didn’t the asuras go on a hartal when this originally happened?

JR: We did. After all, it’s Kerala, so we did go on a hartal demanding justice for Mahabali.

JA: So what happened?

JR: Some good looking Mohiniattam dancer distracted us by serving us some really tasty jackfruit paayasam for free. So the hartal was called off.

JA: Ah damn. I really like Jackfruit paayasam.

JR: Would you like to drink some before you sleep?

JA: Oh yes (and proceeds to gulp down a few litres of Chakkapradhaman). Good night grandma. What story are you going to tell me tomorrow night?

JR: I will tell you another sad story, the one about the great-grandfather of Mahabali, the noble Hiranyakasipu, who, like any responsible father, tried to convince his son Prahlada to live life, have fun, learn knowledge and be a good human being instead of monotonously repeating a single word (“Narayana”) a million times a day for no reason. He was just afraid that his son was turning into an obsessive-compulsive, and might need therapy.

JA: And did Prahlada listen? What did he do?

JR: Not now. Tomorrow night. Now go to sleep.

52 responses to “King Maha got bullied by a dwarf?”

  1. ashwin Avatar

    thala!!! u rock!…. lols … well this is not just for this one but in the last two days i cant help gagaing abt u, and amit 123 !!!! hhaahha ..sooo true …
    to our mba–aatic disordered counterparts across the mirror line of the vindhyas!!

  2. Rekha Avatar

    HahaHaa.. Classsssic Krish Ashok post!! Never knew Onam could be explained so well.
    Looking forward to hearing all about Prahalada next. Adhu eppo?

  3. SS Avatar

    Dude…u really rock!!…. wat amazing writing… amit_123…that is simply too good…
    superb! zimply brilliant! 🙂

  4. Thanatos Avatar

    See, when I was told this story I was under the impression that the dwarf took the step on earth and sky at the same time, thus indulging in a Hail Mary split, and went on to suffer a rather embarrassing wardrobe malfunction.

    And I must inform you that the great Ramanand Sagar beat you to recounting this tale in slow motion, with multiple camera angles. And clanging of various sized metal gongs. And kings with superb pot bellies. Whoever said all conquering emperors had six packs?

  5. Praveen GK Avatar

    LOL 🙂 Thanks to Godly amit_123 🙂

    It is time you retold us how Hiranya was affected by the onslaught of the supera-brat-aa Prahlad 🙂

  6. Mentations - Prasanna Avatar

    Hi Krish!
    Coming here for the first time. Great post !

    ‘That’s not cricket, grand mom !’ – lol 🙂

    Your style of writing is absolutely hilarious !! Keep it coming..

  7. sangu Avatar

    kumarmuthasuravaa?? jiggagagagagagaga

  8. kavitha Avatar


    Onam Sadhi nanaitu kazhicho? Belated Onam wishes.

  9. RukmaniRam Avatar

    ah the mallu hartals.

    laugho laughu as usual

  10. Badarivishal Avatar

    Now we got the descendants of the Demons in the God’s own country!! Nice stuff…U dont disappoint again !

  11. designgeek Avatar

    LOL @ push the king into the middle of Bangalore traffic (also known as Paataala) true!! and Asura sized meals(sadhya) ..i’m half mallu so I know what you mean!!

    great post! keep ’em coming ^_^

  12. cntrlaltdel Avatar

    Mallu Hartals… transports me back to post-grad 🙂
    wish i could remember some of the war cries from Godz Wone Gun-try!
    amit_123 rules again…!
    and of course, good-looking mohinattam dancer. lol.

  13. Anand Avatar

    Top class, monet. Truly top class.

  14. Balaji Avatar

    KA – good one…though I think traffic in Bangalore “Paatala” would be better compared to the one at ground level….and so, Mahabali chooses to come up only once a year.


  15. aandthirtyeights Avatar

    Too funny! Shouldn’t the dwarf do View-Zoom-.ooo1%?

  16. TamilHelmet Avatar

    Holy face paint of Shanthakumaran Sreeshanth !

    No words to explain .. Abhey rock on yaar!

  17. dipali Avatar

    Best Onam story ever!
    The gods certainly didn’t play fair then, and don’t seem to be doing so much of the time even now(:

  18. Selva GK Avatar

    best of all ! Especially that “View->Zoom->1600% ” awesome….!

  19. Arvind Avatar

    Holy face paint of Shantakumaran Sreesanth! that was hilarious 😀

  20. Nimish Batra Avatar





  21. Vijay Avatar

    Great post தலைவா! As usual!!
    I didn’t get the amit_123 reference. An in-joke?
    Ashok: Nah. I introduced that term in the previous post on Himesh. I’ve now updated the glossary page

  22. sthitapragnya Avatar

    Haappee Onam Chetan! Splendid, as usual! extra LOL @ ” amit_123 god’s zoom-effects based chicanery”. Poor Bali! And poor Shukracharya, coz the amit_123 god poked his eye out for trying to stop Bali! How unfair!

  23. maami Avatar

    Happy Onam to Mister and Missus KA!
    Yours faithfully,
    – Rakshashi

  24. Anoop Saha Avatar

    Let me repeat. You are awesome. But you already know that, don’t you? We in Malluland refuse to work till the time you receive the rightfully deserved “Bharat Ratna”.

  25. K Avatar

    Brilliant, as usual 🙂

    What about a JR – JA dialogue on the Righteous Dude who decided his wife was guilty of adultery on the say-so of an MCP washerman abusing his freedom-loving wife?

  26. jaya Avatar

    Belated Onam wishes Ashok!! well…chakkapayasam…a big sigh from my side!!though Hyd is well under madrasi zone…there is no chakka here 😦
    Ashok: Thang you.

  27. amit_123 Avatar

    amit_123 doesnt like stupid jokes like these.
    Ashok: Welcome, and thanks for letting us know 🙂

  28. Infy Avatar

    A cracker of a post!

    You took it to a new level with “View > Zoom > 1600%” ROTFL ! 🙂

  29. Gireesh Avatar

    Onam Story Web2.0 style ah ?? 😉


  30. Nandini Avatar

    I’m waiting for tomorrow night 😀

  31. How do we know Avatar

    ha ha ha! i loved Amit_1234s as an expression. Did not need to chk the glossary. The indicative meaning is goooood.

  32. complicateur Avatar

    If intentional this is the funniest line in the post:
    “Holy face paint of Shantakumaran Sreesanth, that is totally not cricket.” – Brought to mind Sreesanth doing Kathakali in front of a Nirapara full of Chakkapradhaman.

    Belated onaashamshaptakaa’s (sorry) onaashamshagal to yourself and family.

  33. Venkatesh Avatar

    Awesome boi.. keep it up!

  34. mosilager Avatar

    kalakki… (translation: mixed, colloquial: kicked arse). happy onam

  35. Dinesh Babu Avatar

    Nice Onam story! I would have liked to see the Quake Death match though!

  36. Quakeboy Avatar

    Haha… cool article..

    but my non techie friends asked me what deathmatch means… 😛

  37. prats Avatar

    Priceless….and oh zoomed!!!!

    So the hartal was called off…no wonder the head in the middle of our city’s traffic is still stuck…
    Simbly suber

  38. Princess Fiona Avatar

    amit_123…hahaha…i laughed so hard..there was tea on my key board…so true…all seth kamnatis!!! 😉

  39. Sangeetha Avatar

    stumbled upon your blog through a friend’s blog and couldn’t stop reading since. Loved your posts. Blogrolled you too 🙂

    Bring it on…

  40. Arun Avatar

    How about all Amit,Rahul and Manish (Tom,Dick and Harry) ,would they like it? 🙂

  41. Prakriti Avatar

    You are reinventing history as you write bro. Priceless! The ruling governments should pick you up as Chief Textbook Writer.

    Been a long time visitor (and forwarder of your posts to friends) here. God bless you.

  42. subbu567 Avatar

    Hi Ashok

    Cool…Congrats on being published in Indian Express today !(Saturday)

  43. sush Avatar

    great!!superb imaginative one!!

  44. Whacky Avatar

    one of the coolest way to say those stories.. 🙂

  45. Ammu Avatar

    Why are there not enough guys like you never around at the right time maachan????
    You are swell – fantasic – such a good laugh!!!
    Keep it going – waiting for the next one!!!!

  46. Onam Festival Avatar

    Very good way of telling onam story. Keep it up


  47. toftCreevaKer Avatar

    Various of guys write about this issue but you wrote down really true words.

  48. leonidus Avatar

    Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!
    View–Zoom… Priceless!
    Am a mallu whose lived in Bangalore most of his life, everything makes so much sense again! 😀
    Truly awesome stuff!

  49. skyspeeder Avatar

    Very nice !! I Love your story !! Keep it coming !!

  50. Clementina Pichette Avatar
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