Story time

“It’s story time paati”, beamed Jilpasura as he settled into his king sized bed, after a light repast involving several swimming things, a few mountain ranges of rice, a family pack of Arun ice cream and a few red bananas from Kerala.

Jalsa Rakshasi was just getting ready to play Half Life 2. But headcrabs could wait.

“Ok. For a change, let’s ignore our noble (and often unfortunate) ancestors, and let me tell you a story about stories.”

“Hmm. A meta story?”

“Not necessarily, although we could make it recursive, like

Jalsa Rakshasi wanted to put her grandson to sleep quickly so she could get back to playing Half Life 2.

“Let me tell you a story about stories”, she declared.

“Is it a meta story?”, asked the young asura

“Not necessarily, although we could make it recursive.

Jalsa Rakshasi wanted to put her grandson to sleep quickly…

“Hey. Hold. break(). Not allowed. Cheating. You try (story) but I catch (exception). This is too short. I want a longer, non-repeating story”

“Fine. Let me introduce you to a new genre called Science Fact.”

“Science Fact? Wouldn’t that be boring?”

“Of course not. Science Fact is a literary genre that relies on the dramatic tensions that surface when dry scientific facts are applied to sensitive situations to produce potentially interesting outcomes. There’s only one rule – no fantasy science, like time travel or laptop batteries that last more than a few hours.”

“Hmm. Ok. Go ahead. Impress me”

“Dr Kandaswamy was going back to his village after many years. As the first graduate from his village, he was already a bit of a celebrity, but he wanted to use his fame to eradicate age old superstitions that were still keeping the village in the dark ages. He arranged for a projector and called for a townhall meeting. He then went on to explain –

“You see, every one. I am proud of my village, and I cannot tolerate superstition as a man trained in science. I heard that blaming women for giving birth to financially unviable girls instead of dowry-magnetic guys is a common practice. Shame on us. Listen to me, all of you, and watch these slides carefully”

He then opens an OpenOffice presentation and explains –

“In the mangaatha game we call life, the woman puts in an X chromosome, while a man has a choice – X or Y. If he throws in X, the baby will be a girl. If Y, a boy. So all this while, we’ve been burning our daughters-in-law while the real culprit lie elsewhere. So therefore, I propose that from today, we will burn the boy and have the girl remarry till a boy is produced”

“Yay! We agree. Let the boy burning begin”

The end

“Wuh? That was a disturbing story. So are all Science-fact stories like this?”

“Hmm. Pretty much.”

“Um. No then. Tell me something more interesting. Something with more of an element of surprise”

“Hmm. How about Telescopic fiction?”

“Sounds exploratory. What is it, really?”

“Here’s the link. Click on all the orange things. I’m off headcrab hunting now. Good night, and Chakkapradhaman dreams.”

“Hold your gravity gun right there. I’m already done. Not bad, but that was just a snack. I need my main course now. That wasn’t satisfying enough.”

Jalsa Rakshasi saw her chances of killing some Combine soldiers disappear with every moment.

“Oh well. Have you heard of Twiction?”

“No.”

“Okay. It’s Fiction concocted from Twitter statuses. I saw this a while back and was inspired to do a Twiction version of an O Henry classic. One thing to note though – Twitter statuses are shown in descending chronological order (newest first)”

Scene 1:

magi1

Scene 2:

magi2

Scene 3:

magi3

Scene 4:

magi4

Epilogue

magiebay

“Hmmm…Im feeling sleepy now. Thanks paati”

“Yesssss..Good night. Now where’s my crowbar

21 Comments

Leave a Comment

  1. I liked Twiction. The Gift of Magi, I was reminded of. For a moment when I clicked the orange words in ur google pages, I thought it was going to go like a Mega serial, but thank god it stopped. I also liked your verdict on burning boys for giving birth to girls.

  2. as always – a good post.
    cannot resist sharing a recursive type story i tell my kid (other appas and ammas can use for small kids; my older cousin used it to keep me quiet years ago):
    3 crows live in a tree, appa crow flies to find food. after an hour, amma crow flies off in search of appa crow. i am waiting for them to come back to continue story.

    if kid gets agitated, move to recursive mode: next to this family lived another crow family. appa crow of that second family flies off to find food. after an hour, amma crow of that seccond family ….. and so on and so forth!

    Thalaivaa!! Only you can think of telescopic fiction!! 😀 Fantastic!!

  3. Did you invent telescopic fiction? Because if you did, 1. I prostrate myself and 2. I have a great business idea for you. You can make a template for hindi movie scripts, including but not limited to Sooraj Barjatia and Yash Chopra. Though not Subash Ghai, because the scripts cannot be guaranteed to flop.
    Also brilliant was the O henry story. Pity, two great ideas in the same post, like Sushmita Sen and Aishwarya Rai in the same pageant, take the shine away from at least one. Unfair comparison, I suppose, because I’m sure the O henry story would have more acting talent than Aishwarya Rai

  4. /*
    I just some took time off from working and your try(story) and catch(exception) totally put me ().
    If I were to SELECT * from Blogpost it would be this.aww(Twiction)
    */ (It was a comment 🙂

  5. Hey.. the telescopic fictions is the most imaginative thing i’ve seen in a while.. So do you have a book coming up based on your blogs/otherwise … (not telescopic) ?

  6. ★loved your twiction
    ★★telefiction was original remixing of the masterly kind
    ★★★superb recursive story, should try it on my daughter
    ★★★★★ I really liked & agree with the idea of celebrating financially unviable girls & burning dowry-magnetic guys

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