My experiments with tooth

Revolutions tend to begin silently, and secretly, and often start small. Secrecy is like a nanny, often needed in those initial stages, but growing up necessitates the termination of a nanny’s services. And when it’s time to break out, it’s all or nothing. It takes uncommon courage to be revolutionary. To do the unpopular because it is the right thing to do. But revolutionaries die young. The price of rebellion is at best death, at worst, torture or exile.

GP was a revolutionary.

He was destined for glory right from when he was small. He broke all the rules. He loved the good life. He liked chocolate. Of the dark, sticky variety. As a teenager, they called him names. Deviant, crooked and a troublemaker, they called him. Nothing good will ever come of him, they declared. But as he grew larger and mightier, the world could not ignore him. Love him or hate him, there was no ignoring him. His influence was starting to worry the nearby nation of Gingiva.

Soon enough, the high priests of Gingiva had convened. “It is our responsibility”, they solemnly announced. “The moral turpitude of that base rascal GP bothers us. It is our burden to keep our neighbours stable, and not let them sink into cavities of chocolate induced greed. What will happen if everybody wants to live the good life?”. GP, they decided, had to be confronted. But it was not that easy. GP had grown larger than life, and commanded an influence well beyond the high priests abilities to deal with. GP could not be willed away. He had to be betrayed, and some one just had to bite the thirty pieces of silver.

But betrayal does not come easily. The high priests were not popular in their land, and a mass swelling of pride in the land of Gingiva was inevitable.  But the tale took a tragic turn as this swelling of pride was mistakenly interpreted by the kingdom of Dent as a precursor to military aggression. The priests smiled. They knew this would happen all along. The tragedy of the commons. The authorities of Dent panicked and sent an emissary to the court of Orthodont, the most powerful nation in the land.

“Oh mighty Orthodont, we are under grave threat from our neighbours, the Gingiva. While we could have dealt with this threat in the past, we have grown weak, our erstwhile mighty defences enfeebled by that popular rogue GP. He has grown mighty, and he wields influence, and we believe he is in truck with the enemy. We need your help”

The Grand Wizard of the Orthodont sighed and cogitated thus – “It always comes to this eh? But at first, our machines of war need intelligence. We need to understand GP’s weakness before we order a surgical strike. Go ask your Farseer Roentgen to give us a closer view of GP’s fortress in the nether worlds of Dent.”

Farseer Roentgen’s prognosis was graver than expected. GP had grown large, crooked and was spreading his malevolence far and wide, he said. The Grand Wizard declared that there was no time to lose, but an immediate surgical strike was fraught with danger. GP was popular, and he had on his side, the swelling Gingiva and his fast growing army who were in his thrall. GP had to be weakened from the inside. He had to be betrayed, as the high priests had correctly deduced.

Orthodont sent his spy Imol to poison GP and weaken his influence. GP was being drugged. To be rendered powerless when the surgical strike is ordered.
For weeks, GP fought valiantly against the influence of the narcotic that was weakening his hold, but today, the day of reckoning had arrived. Th Grand Wizard ordered the strike. He put on a fantastic last stand, resisting the might of Orthodont and surprising their machines of war with his uncommon size and stength. And in the end, he died, bloodied in battle.

R.I.P Gnaana Pal (Wisdom Tooth)
Born – Unknown
Died – 27th Dec 2008
You have left a hole in the soul of our land. Crooked and deviant, you might have been, but you lived the good life.

40 Comments

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  1. i would like to place a bet of around 10$ (my entire current sothu) with anyone, even jimmy wales, that normally unpopular dental health terms in wikipedia, are going to see significant increase in traffic..

    and i am really badly trying to resist comments on the “wisdom” behind the post.. only the fact that it would be utterly cheesy and the also that the post is not really bad prevents me from doing so..

  2. was the tooth cremated with full honors n 21 gun salute? or was it buried to invoke the ‘tooth fairy’ ?
    Ashok: Um. The Grand Wizard of the Orthodont did not return the body of GP for a proper burial. Spoils of war, they said.

  3. Krish,

    On an unrelated note now that Christmas is over, why not do a jilpasura tale on Jesus and why 25th Dec is celebrated ? In fact you have left out even Bakrid.

    Oh wait, I guess jilpasura finds only 10 avatars of Vishnu worthy enough of being poked at and taking digs. Other religions are so rational and devoid of superstittion you know, dead body coming alive after 3 days etc.
    Ashok: There was once a crow called Srinivasaperumal, and he had 2 friends, a hawk called Abu Bakr and a Kite called Joseph Thambi. He liked to make fun of his cousins, fellow crows who depended on humans giving the rice and paruppu for food everyday. He thought about making fun of his friend Abu and his friend Joseph’s family but his bird brain told him to be born a hawk or a kite before making fun of them. So he just continued making fun of crows. They mostly ignored him because he was usually silly and lacking in depth. The end.

  4. Krish,

    On an unrelated note now that Christmas is over, why not do a jilpasura tale on Jesus and why 25th Dec is celebrated ? In fact you have left out even Bakrid.

    Oh wait, I guess jilpasura finds only 10 avatars of Vishnu worthy enough of being poked at and taking digs. Other religions are so rational and devoid of superstittion you know, dead body coming alive after 3 days etc.

  5. I just burst into laughter after reading the title itself…rest I will do another day..ha…ha….ha….ha-pl get me some water!!!!

  6. “his bird brain told him to be born a hawk or a kite before making fun of them” – Oh come on bird brain is wrong I say. The crow is an informed atheist like Kamal, so I am sure crow knows the peculiarities of other religions as well!

  7. Bloody Hilarious ( All pun intended) :P.. Never could have imagined that a single tooth removal could be made into an awesome story.

    As Lucky Ali sings “Ek Pal ka jeena..” 😛

  8. I have a GP that’s going the same way. I’ve read your cautionary tale aloud to my GP and will you please pray with me that it takes the [gentle] hint?

  9. hmm.. i like the point mr labaku das made.. true, you find it hard to make fun of religions which aren’t a part of your own heritage and it might be awkward to criticize someone else’s beliefs when they are of no significant relevance..

    but as labaku das says, you do claim to be an atheist, which means you don’t attach much credibility to others’ beliefs as well.. i guess its because you find it irrational.. so why not make light fun of it by way of justifying your rejection?

  10. Excellent … Fantastic … Brilliant … I wonder how you could strike something like politics, religion, world affairs, and others with your G P 😉
    Must be your G alone … LOL

  11. If you want to add to the world’s troubles, and enjoy digs at other religions, do it yourselves in ur own names. Dont egg on a broad-minded rationalist . Dont try to change the nature of a place, institution, or blogspot, to suit ur own desires.

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