Vote for Me

I realize that it’s been a while since my last blog post. As I sat around airports and hotel rooms over the last couple of weeks wondering when to publish my next post, this happened:

I put two and two together and decided that it was funny in a darkly ironic way that politicians normally fail to deliver and then come looking for votes during election time. So it logically follows
Hey Hey Vote for me ya ok thanks tata byebye

Yes yes, you might point out that the poster is recycled from an earlier post. The hallmark of a good Indian politician is not only his ability to make one laugh till one cries, but the ability to reuse, recycle and republish posters, manifestos and ideologies, so there.

So people, vote for me. Let freedom ring like a doorbell that plays the Gayathri mantra. Yes we can, I say. This is change we can believe in. I think, therefore I aam aadmi. India is shining with the clicks of a million blog readers and the rofls of millions. Lal Krishna Advani might have failed, but Lolz Krish Ashok will not.

My manifesto

  1. I promise to post once every week
  2. I promise to respond to every comment, politely
  3. I promise to use a combination of Google Calendar, Basecamp, Post it notes, Phone alarms and plain ol’ memory to remember to keep my promises
  4. I promise to do item nr 3
  5. I will continue to tweet
  6. I will tweet my posts
  7. I will post my tweets

In addition, I declare that all blog reading citizens will be given posts in full colour. We will also undertake a full fledged agitation at the central level against the imposition of chatspeak as it is against our traditional Wren and Martin culture. Where there are masks, I will expose their temples. If they slap me on one cheek, I will crack jokes so that they say “what cheek!”.

It is our destiny, and destiny has a child. It’s called Beyond Say, and this blog will continue to look beyond and say the unobvious

Jai Hind

Update: I would like to announce some pre-poll alliances. Our Coalition of the Shilling, newly minted PUB (Progressive Union of Bloggers) includes

Please vote for them.

ps: The various city chapters of PUB are called Madras Union of Bloggers (MUB), Bengaluru Educated and Entertaining wRiters (BEER) and Hyderabad Online Pranksters (HOP), Delhi Online Progressive Entertainers (DOPE), Calcutta Association of Multifarious Pranksters Assembling Regularly on Internet (CAMPARI), Cochin Online Gang for Nefarious Activities & Conversations (COGNAC), Trichy Internet Professionals & Sly Yahoos(TIPSY) and finally the Ranipet Ultra-laughter Macchaans (RUM)

More alliances are being worked out as we speak.

UPDATE: The polls are open. Please vote here –

59 thoughts on “Vote for Me

    1. Ah. er. Thank you. We have formed a committee to look into your proposal to accelerate the posting process. You will be kept informed, through the Google Reader RSS committee and the Refresh-the-browser campaign on updates

  1. LOL!!! 😀
    You sure know how to attract your voters!!!
    49(O) option irruka saaar? 😛
    Just kidding!! 🙂
    Voted for you right away!!
    Loved the pictures especially the second one!! :D. Is it just me or do u look uncannily like Advani? 😛 😛

  2. I was expecting an Audacity of Dope er..Hope style speech.
    In case you win, do you become eligible for Nobel Peace prize nomination?

    1. I do not speculate about the future. I occasionally speculate on the past, but not much. Im a present kind of person. I accept visa/master/debit/paypal/hawala/pigeonpal etc

  3. adada, all photoshaap worku is hard to beat. We shall endorse your candidature and get our followers to put vote for you as well.

    some back scratching will be appreciated.

    ps: we can help with aunty-shoshal activities like bhoot-keptchuring etc as well!

  4. Everyone,

    Thank you. Post poll alliances are not ruled out at this moment. Several plum ministerial berths are on offer. The Ministry of Funny Talks, for one. The Ministry of Louw, for another

  5. “I do not speculate about the future. I occasionally speculate on the past, but not much. Im a present kind of person. I accept visa/master/debit/paypal/hawala/pigeonpal etc”.. Krish.. That just beat the post !!! 😀 😀 😀 u r without doubt the funniest guy i ve ever seen !!

  6. Lol…there never was any doubt about who I’d vote for, but thanks for making it that much more obvious…

    But first, lemme see if you respond to this one… >;-D

  7. Somewhere you should have included your samsaram’s contribution to your political campaign. After all, she comes up with gems like the King Kong-Hong Kong analogy.

  8. Humo(u)r for Americans and Destiny’s Child Beyonce?


    And Koundamani adds the perfect touch to your poster.

    1. Between Bikerdude and Maami, both nominated under the same category, it’s like choosing BSP and SP as alliance partners. A common minimum programme is being worked out. Details later

  9. Sooper, besh, vazhtukkal and all that. I see the polls aren’t open yet, though. Please to link pannify when voting is officially thodangified.

  10. As long as Crap bong or ‘Amit’ Varma (what a name!) doesnt win,I am happy. If you pick up a decent number initially, and you are the competitor to crap bong I promise you my vote

  11. ROFL is so passe….KRISHOFL is ‘in’ 😀

    I’m awaiting some ‘aamyamya’ (read packets – of gudumba/currency/pulses etc) before I solemnize moi vote to the Krish Vikaas Paartee

    and dude, whatz your poll symbol? Make it amit_123 😛

  12. Just voted for you.
    Glad the poll got you to post again, funny as always 🙂

    You’d better keep your promises now or else…

  13. Weekly posts or not,you’ll get my vote. Who can come up with things beyond say? Haha. I’m positive about your Win!:D

  14. On behalf of the Alwarpet bLog Voters Association, I hereby extend my full support to your blog. Duly voted.

    Tried to enlist members of the KALLa vottu Union, but negotiations fell through on the matter of quantity discounts for large vote purchases.

    Un blog-in sevai, indha naattukku thevai! In fact, indha naattukku idhuvum thevai, unnumum thevai.


  15. I hope you don’t get disqualified if non-Indian’s vote. I don’t understand probably 25% of the stuff you post (references that simply go over my head), but I still find you to be one of the most intelligently funny writers around.

    1. Thank you 🙂 As for the references, don’t worry. Most people from outside Chennai don’t get them.

      ps: I have been reading your blog for well over 2 years now and enjoy every post you write

  16. Hilarious:D. Venky has been asking me to visit this place for a while and now I know why. Will come back for more. Among other things, “I will tweet my posts” and “I will post my tweets” – and the gayathri mantra connection – cracked me. You have got a wonderful style too.

    Good day too. 🙂

  17. Man…each and every post of yours is a gem and worth waiting for…Manifesto la last two points thaan ultimate…:D btw what would Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh be if you were “Lolz Krish Ashok”? 😛

  18. Will surely vote…your blog has confused, inspired, dissembled and always entertained! Some of your stuff has been a total bouncer, but made me smarten up to understand them by reading more!

  19. My first post though I am a regular reader.

    How credible and transparent are these polls by Indibloggies and how many people vote? The only references to the polls I am seeing are in the nominated blogs. Also, it is strange to see wide variation in the number of nominations per category and a number of good blogs I know are not listed – I hope it is not a case of old boys’ network.

    Also, all these pre-poll alliances seem underhand/sleazy to me no matter how cleverly named they are.

    Bottomline: This blog is the funniest/wittiest around (except when it gets parochial or tries to prove its secular credentials) regardless of whether it wins in the polls or not.

  20. You got my vote mama! This post is too good! Keep up your promise or else next year you have to deliver colour tv to indian voters and color tv to american voters 🙂

  21. Well
    the results were expected.
    Vote bank politics is a “recipe for disaster”, when the vote bank is small and you alienate all the others. I.e, you would have got approx 90% of tamil votes, >50% of south indian votes, and 0% north indian votes. Perhaps the iyyangars also hated you (and what about the peters, the superstitious, etc etc…). So next time, either get the number of tamil votes increased(invoke dravidian spirit and get kalaignar to make voting mandatory), or apologize and beg mercy to Amit (fictitious as he is). And spend the rest of the time (till next vote) praising bollywood and making jokes about tamils who refuse to learn hindi and goes about eating idli-dosa and sambaar rice all the time. Tamils will still vote for you because you are tamil, and you may win.
    Ashok: Of course all of us knew Greatbong would win any popularity contest. This was all good fun and made for blogpost and twitter fodder for a while. By the way, Ramesh Srivats won both the best new indiblog and best microblog categories, and Bhatnaturally and Jalsa/Jilpa were second in both their categories. Not bad for a fledgling alliance I would say 🙂 The good thing about something like the Indibloggies is that if one wins, one can always modestly thank people for all the kangaroolations, and if one loses, it’s all too easy to point out that the Indibloggies are fundamentally flawed. Ah yes, cake baking, cake having and cake eating, and also paper plate disposal 🙂

  22. u funny guy, love allur writeups especially the mantra one, for my hubbie it was indeed the man who was the big draw in HKG as u said, but fr me it was those unnamed crustaceans in the tank that did the trick….

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