Driving End-to-End Synergies

One way of describing my profession would be – I leverage core competencies to build synergies in a co-creative environment and articulate value propositions for key stakeholders and deliver transformational change by positioning comprehensive, end-to-end, verticalized, out-of-the-box solutions for productivity improvements.

But I noticed that execubabblers seem to have forgotten our epics, so for their own good, I had to do this:

Please do the needful and revert back with any concerns.

ps: Thanks to http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html

63 Comments

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  1. ROTFL, oh my god i cannot stop laughing, my favorites were Dasaratha touching base to leverage key relationships and the maintenance of the Indian Male Ego

    The Ramayana was never so comprehensively right-sized with a long term vision, immediate short term benefits and a scalable, measurable, well defined goal and sssomebody stop me 😦

    needless to say the Case Study of the bridge project was more viable than the second, as there are more arrows.

  2. Your proactiveness in developing this high utility presentation shall be duly considered while evaluating peer performance levels for yearly banding and promotions.

  3. Your value-added customer-centric post has leveraged cutting edge presentation technology to synergise with your natural propensity for jocularity to deliver impact in alignment with your blog’s strategy.

    Great stuff 🙂

    1. It’s designed to sneak past any one’s brain, tech or non-tech. It is execubabble, and it’s knowledge-agnostic because it is completely devoid of it. So it’s perfectly fine that it flew past your brain. I would be deeply disturbed if any of it made any sense

      1. Quite a lot of this was lost in overhead transmission at my end. I feel much better about it after reading your reply to Rads.

        I have a friend who got his MBA in the US. He says one of his (more obnoxious) professors had a plaque on his desk that said, “I have an MBA, more is expected of me!”

        I feel really good that I don’t have an MBA 🙂

      2. Yes Rads, This is a Highly sophisticated Innovative presentation of seamlessly architected end user training and knowledge sharing technique. No one will understand it, including what I wrote. I didn’t understand what I wrote as well. Krish, that was a super link, the bullshit generator! Will come quite handy if I have to make a ppt in my life!

      3. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious nothing less!!!! each work is a masterpiece, a work of art…. Love your senseless babble and ofcourse execubabblers…

  4. To,

    Jalsa.Jilpa,

    Dear Mr.Jilpa

    As the director of the company I am immensely pleased and delighted with your path breaking innovative business model through your presentation,which has helped us unleash hitherto unexplored,but a high potential market-Lessons from the great Indian Epics-Seemless Integration and application of Great Indian epics to the myriad issues facing corporate performance,by leveraging the seemingly dissimilar but greatly similar concepts found in epics like for eg Monkeys at the work place etc”,including but not limited to application of firecall testing method to uncovering “creatively manipulated books”.In addition to solving many mission critical business issues-This also addresses the issue of talent shortage innovatively by appointing our ancestors for some critical functions.

    I am further delighted to inform you that you have been promoted to head this new business unit-IETCM-Indian epics to Corporate Management-and your designation in your role will be
    Manag(apsa)ing F(P)art(n)er!

    In lieu,depsite the severe economic down turn and market conditions-so severe that your directors were awarded only 25% raise and 50% raise in their annual bonus,I am pleased to offer you a raise of 1.75% in your annual compensation.Please note that any additional tax liability arising out of this will be to your account.

    I wish you and your family,significantly better prosperity in life.

    Best Regards,

    Dat F. Jargon
    Senior Farter and Country Damager-India.

  5. As ex-consultant who spent quite some months making charts like that, I must say it is besh besh. As ex-consultant, I must also point out that there has to be a 1-page ‘storyline’ in gobbelydook. Dack.com is pretty helpful there 🙂

      1. Hi Krish,
        Wont this be Lakshmana’s Action Item. ??
        Rama’s Action Item are those which he need to do.

        Is this has any link to owner/co-owner of the task. 🙂

        This post is so enjoyable
        Ashok: No. When managers get action items, they automatically get delegated to closest available minion, in this case, Lakshmana. Lakshmana, being a Module Leader himself, could have re-delegated down to Shatrughana, but he was not available, so that forced him to do the job himself.

    1. Gili,
      Software consultants don’t merely revert. They revert back, which causes the effect to bounce back on to the target. For e.g, If I ask you to revert, and you do, then I have to respond. But if I ask you to “revert” + “back”, then it’s your turn, always.
      And oh, “revert” incidentally means “undo”, and therefore is generally inappropriate in this case, but hey, that’s part of the obfuscation.

  6. We have recently written a re-interpreted version of Ramayana for a 3-D animation flick…and i wish someday we have enough ‘democracy and sensibility’ in our country to push the envelope this much.

    Very recently got in an argument with a friend who took offense when I ‘spoofed’ a Ghalib couplet for a news item…sanctimony being her war-cry. Don’t know what her reaction would be on seeing this… 🙂

  7. OMG !!!!

    A wonderful post … Good to back in form with Ramayana …I reckon are always a good performers on this bouncy mythological pitches and flat Software engineering pitches ….
    That block diagram of ‘Three-tier architechture’ and ‘Bridge case study’ was simply superb…!!!

  8. OMG !!!!

    A wonderful jilpa post … Good to back in form with Ramayana …I reckon , you are always a good performers on this bouncy mythological pitches and flat Software engineering pitches ….
    That block diagram of ‘Three-tier architechture’ and ‘Bridge case study’ was simply superb…!!!

  9. Awesome use of corporate buzzwords! பேசுவது என்னவென்று தெரியாமல் பிதற்றும் Professionalகளுக்கு நெத்தியடி!!

  10. Aaah…suffering from KA withdrawal symptoms.
    If not here can you at least post something on the snack edition?

  11. I think I saw this before. But I didn’t get the Ramayan reference at all. Even now, all I see is what appears to be an introductory paragraph. Is there a file? Do I need some plug-in/something to see it?

    g

  12. Brilliant bhai… but you missed Vibhishan, the snitch who broke the value system?

    The whole predicament of the greater evil… and insider trading.

  13. Awesome. You have transferred the knowledge to people who were not near shore during the Ramaayana era. and I am proud that you have managed this knowledge well as this portal would be accessible seamlessly to all clients and is browser independent

  14. Good post. I learn something new and challenging on blogs I stumbleupon on a daily basis.
    It will always be interesting to read content from other writers and use a little something from their
    web sites.

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